7th Heaven
All By Myself

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Gwen: D | Grade It Now!
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All By Myself

Is that Selma Blair on this new show called Zoe? Hmm. The show almost looks funny. Then again, I always laugh at stupid commercials while I'm recapping 7th Heaven. It's all relative, you know.

Annie bawls. Some woman walks up and says that RevCam called the front desk looking for her, but that everything's okay. The woman introduces herself as Hattie and asks if everything's okay. Annie says she's just a little tired. Hattie sits down without being asked and opines that taking care of a husband and a little girl will make you tired. Annie tells Hattie that she has seven kids, and Happy barks to remind Annie that she has a dog, and to make me puke a little. Hattie says Annie must be exhausted. Annie starts telling Hattie all this personal info about Eric's heart and Mary's gym-TP-ing and her dad. She doesn't know if she can keep it in anymore. "Then don't," says Hattie. "Just let it all go." Annie starts bawling again and Hattie hugs her. That was nice of Hattie, I suppose.

Matt comes out of Shana's shower in one of her t-shirts and his same olive pants. "Ooh! The teeny-tiny-shirt look is HOT!" says Shana. Shut up, Shana. They start kissing. Then Shana jerks away again and says she needs to pack and blah blah blah. Matt starts getting all morose about her leaving again. Shana gets mad and says he should go home and change his clothes and his attitude; this isn't easy for her and he's making it less so. He says he'll go home and change, but he's coming back. Whatever.

The Mom-less Camdens are slumped all over their living room watching Charlie Chaplin. Rev asks if Ruthie wants to try calling Annie again and Ruthie replies, "Blah-blah whiny blah!" Mary tells her to stop being mad at Mom because Mom deserves to get away. Ruthie tells Mary she should stop being mad at Robbie, then, because he deserves to get away from her. Simon snickers. Mary mentions Dina by way of dissing him. RevCam says "all right" as if he kind of gives a crap, and Ruthie tells them to quit their whining. Meanwhile, Lucy's in her room holding up dresses to herself at the mirror and then throwing them on the floor. Women! We're all the same! RevCam tells the others they need to clean up the house before Annie gets home. Mary suggests waiting until the next day, and he relents. Then Ruthie wants to stuff her face, and Eric suggests ice cream for lunch. Simon opts for potato chips straight from the bag. He's wearing too much pink eye shadow. Mary will eat peanut butter straight from the jar. RevCam realizes that he's expected to get up and serve the junk food. Ruthie tells him to make it snappy because her "tummy's making noises." Yeah, kid, and so's your pie hole. Shut it. Lucy decided on a little black piece of skankery. She kicked over some clothes on the floor and discovers that the phone's been under them, off the hook for a while. She goes downstairs and sees her family in their slothful state. Simon product-places some Sunkist soda. They're all watching one of those old cartoons with the silent anthropomorphized chickens. The scene ends abruptly. Or maybe Ruthie said something funny. I couldn't be sure. Oh, and RevCam offers Lucy a banana. I'm not going to say anything about that because I've probably already disgusted y'all enough with my inappropriate comments by now.

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7th Heaven

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