7th Heaven
An Early Fall

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Sara M: F | Grade It Now!
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No sooner does Annie get rid of Roxanne than her phone rings again; this time it's Asslee. I'll bet Annie is wishing she was still talking to Roxanne now, doesn't she? Asslee is calling from her cell phone while walking along the Promenade. This is almost as ridiculous and unnecessary as the supposed reason why Asslee is calling; to inform the CamRents that it's not such a hot idea for Simon to come back to school, because there's a lot of "talk" about the accident. And then she invites herself over to the CamPound for dinner, under the pretense of wanting to talk to Simon. Annie, sounding only slightly irritated, assents to this. Asslee asks if Annie is mad at her for driving Simon to the airport. Annie says no, because "it wasn't [Asslee's] decision." What? Sure it was! He didn't hold a gun to her head or anything; he asked her for a ride and she decided to give him one. I guess in Annie's world, when a man asks a woman to do something, she must comply. Annie says that she hopes that Simon wasn't just using Asslee for a ride to the airport, and worries that Simon will hurt Asslee's feelings again if she comes over tonight. Asslee says that maybe she's been pushing too hard and she should just let Simon know that she'll be there for him if he needs her. At dinner at the CamPound, which she'll be there for at 7 sharp. As Annie gets off the phone with Asslee, SamVid, which has apparently been sitting in the kitchen this whole time, makes its first appearance of the episode to ask what's for dinner. Annie responds that "a big heaping bowl of trouble" is on tonight's menu. That should be a welcome change from the usual big heaping bowl of shit Annie usually serves.

Lucy comes home to the treehouse of newly-wedded bliss, disappointed to find that she didn't get back in time to catch Kevin in the shower. Needless to say, I am not disappointed. Lucy is happy to announce the her new class schedule has "no early-morning classes." This is probably because at Crawford Clown College, there are no classes. At any time of the day. Lucy tells Kevin about her talk with Carlos, and about how he's coming over tonight to tell the CamRents that he's their newest son-in-law. Kevin interrupts her to express his happiness about this because he hates keeping secrets. Lucy still thinks that Mary is pregnant, although Carlos didn't tell her anything. Kevin smirks that Lucy is wrong. Lucy changes the subject to Simon, and about how the trial is over and he's not going to school, because there may just be one person left in America who didn't understand what was going on after having it explained to him the first seventeen times. Kevin says that this could turn out for the best; being away from the CamPound will help Simon "grow up." Lucy says Simon isn't going away. Kevin says that he thinks he is, but that he wants to talk about Chandler and Roxanne now. He tells Lucy that they broke up, and she feels guilty for not returning Roxanne's numerous phone calls to her that day. Speak of the devil, Roxanne "knocks" and then rudely walks right into their apartment without waiting for an answer. Kevin sighs angrily and walks out so the girls can talk. Roxanne tells Lucy that she's suddenly realized that she doesn't want to married to Chandler -- ever -- because "he's like this holy man, and [she's] like...so UNholy." Unholy? Could that be because Roxanne is a WHORE? Because she has and/or once expressed a desire to have sex before marriage? Probably! Lucy tries to cheer her up by saying that she's not "exactly" unholy. Roxanne asks what that's supposed to mean, and Lucy stammers that she doesn't know what "unholy" means at all. In yet another rapid change of topics, Lucy suggests that dinner with the CamFam isn't such a good idea tonight because Mary will be there. "Is something going on with Mary?" Roxanne asks. Before Lucy can answer, Asslee comes upstairs and expresses her interest in Mary's business. Has she ever even met Mary? Anyway, I would start to talk about how rude it is that Asslee just walked into someone else's house without even pretending to knock like Roxanne at least did, but I'm too busy looking at the drag queen wig Asslee's passing off as today's latest hairstyle.

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7th Heaven

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