7th Heaven
An Early Fall

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After a commercial break, Carlos angrily and rapidly speaks Spanish, because Brenda Hampton loves I Love Lucy and thus probably considers this some kind of homage. To me, it screams "rip-off," but to each her own. Mary fronts like she knows what Carlos is saying, but it turns out that she doesn't even know what "loco" means, although somehow she does know what "pollo" means, if not how to pronounce it. Carlos says that he didn't call her "chicken," he called her "crazy." Oh, that's much better. Mary is confused as to why people would eat crazy chickens. I have no idea what the hell is going on anymore. La Guitarra de Amor plays as Mary and Carlos start to laugh and express their love for each other. They take their wedding rings out of the rather unsafe places they were keeping them and put them back on their fingers. Then they make out while positioned awkwardly on the couch.

Peter and Ruthie debate Mary's pregnancy status while eating dinner. Peter suddenly realizes that no one, except the twins, is eating with them. "No one's hungwy," explains one half of SamVid. "Except for us," the other states, "we're vewy hungwwyyy." For human flesh. SamVid is curious as to why none of the Camdens were invited to Mary and Carlos's wedding, although I'd say that that question pretty much answers itself. Peter says that Mary and Carlos are "complicated." Ruthie asks him to explain. "Yeah," says the smaller twin. Then there's a long pause as the twins' handler probably gesticulates wildly off-camera to get the other twin to speak. "What do you meeeeean?" he finally asks. Peter says that Mary and Carlos are from different religions and "backgrounds." So are Matt and PC. And Kevin and Lucy, actually. And, if those rumors about her real parentage are true, you and Ruthie. Peter and Ruthie argue about whether or not Mary is pregnant. Again. Peter's so certain that she isn't that one must wonder if he's been spying on them to see if appropriate preventive measures were taken before the sex took place.

Chandler sits on the Camden's front steps trying to look contemplative. Roxanne's entrance into the scene is heralded by the Soprano Saxophone of Conflict Resolution. Roxanne sits down beside Chandler and hugs his arm. Chandler says he's not sure if taking a break was the right thing to do, but Roxanne says that she thinks that it is. "I can't marry you," she says with a big ol' grin on her face. "I can't be a preacher's wife; I'm not the preacher's wife type." No, you're not, you WHORE! Chandler asks if that's the only reason why she's won't marry him. Actually, says Roxanne, it's not; she never wanted to get married. She just wanted to play pretend. "Why do we ever have to get married?" Roxanne asks, full well knowing that Chandler's answer is that he wants to have sex already. Instead, he says that they don't have to get married. Roxanne's smile fades slightly, but not enough for me to think that she isn't a cold bitch. So she's risen a couple notches in my estimation. Now, I only intensely dislike her.

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7th Heaven

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