7th Heaven
And Away We Go…

Episode Report Card
Sara M: D | 14 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
And Away They Blow...

What the hell is Mac still doing on this show? Does no one have any dignity? He's not even in the opening credits, and he still feels the need to come back whenever Brenda Hampton calls. He's looking doofier than ever as he walks right on into the CamPound with two old ladies, a blonde and a redhead. Apparently, T-Bag told them about RevCam and Annie's big vacation plans, and they want to know more about it, because they have no lives of their own. Seriously, if I found out some old couple I was loosely acquainted with was going on a road trip, I wouldn't care. I certainly wouldn't go over and bother them while they were trying to pack. The redhead asks RevCam where they're going. "North," RevCam says, vaguely gesturing in a northwest direction. I hope they go west enough that they fall into the Pacific Ocean and die. RevCam says they're heading for Simon's college to watch him graduate, a rather important appointment to keep that RevCam FORGOT ABOUT BECAUSE HE LEFT THE INVITATION IN A STACK OF UNREAD MAIL. And since I guess Simon hasn't spoken to him in years. How is it not a big deal when your kid graduates from college? Especially after the big fucking deal they made about Mary not going to college at all. RevCam says that Simon was too busy "finishing school" to remind his parents about his graduation, which obviously means that Simon hates them and made a concerted effort not to tell them about the graduation because he doesn't want them there. He is going to be so sad when they show up anyway, and in a giant RV bursting with random people. Poor, poor Simon.

The old ladies bombard RevCam with questions about what he's going to do after that and what he'll do with his possessions if he doesn't come back to Glenoak. RevCam just shrugs and says he doesn't care about possessions anymore since his miraculous heart disease recovery. Easy for him to say -- the church probably owns most of that shit anyway. Along those lines, RevCam says he's limiting his passengers to only one "small" suitcase and three things each to bring with them on the trip. That sucks for SamVid and Ruthie, who don't really have a choice about going on the trip or not. Basically, RevCam is telling them to choose three things they want to keep and abandon the rest, possibly forever. At this point, Mac and the blonde stop caring and leave the room to talk to T-Bag. T-Bag sucks, but I'd rather talk to him than RevCam, I guess.

The redhead decides to stay in the kitchen, where RevCam is looking through drawers for a road atlas. Because that's where I keep my atlas, right next to the forks. RevCam says the last time he saw the atlas was when he took it out to "do some school stuff" with SamVid. You mean, homeschooling? You call that "stuff?" And you're using an out-of-date atlas to do it? Great. Those kids will surely thrive, their minds stuffed with knowledge. The redhead asks if RevCam is looking for something "spiritual" on this road trip, which he quickly denies, since everyone on this show hates god. Instead, RevCam says he's doing it because he can, and because he got the RV now and apparently it will turn back into a pumpkin if it isn't put to road-tripping use immediately. RevCam adds that his dad annoys him, except when he's giving him stuff. Then, RevCam says, "Father knows best." He quickly adds that that is a reference to an old TV show, but the redhead says she knows that, since she was fifty when that show first came on the air.

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7th Heaven

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