Simon comes down the stairs and announces that his wedding is definitely on, and he apologizes for the fight everyone witnessed last night in another episode I sure as hell won't be watching. Because Annie's obsessed with her children having babies today, she asks Simon if Rose is pregnant. He says she isn't, but that her bitchy attitude yesterday was "hormonal." Which I'm guessing means that Rose got her period, like, last night and that she and Simon are in for some super-fun honeymoon times. Simon tries to convince himself that he wants to be with Rose for the rest of his life, and leaves his parents to stare around the kitchen until RevCam enters flashback mode. He remembers all the way back to the pilot episode when Simon sat in the attic waiting for the dog he prayed for to come. Of all the scenes they had to choose from in ten seasons of this show, this was the best they could come up with? Are they telling us that RevCam thinks of Rose as the dog that Simon always wanted? How rude.
When we finally leave the flashback, we're stuck on RevCam's stupid face, his jaw hanging open as he remembers. "I don't think he knows what he wants," he says out of nowhere. That doesn't even make sense; Simon wanted a dog and then he got a dog. "Neither does she," Annie says of Rose, even though we're probably supposed to hate her.
The entire Camden family made it back for the open credits! Even Mary, although she still doesn't get to be ahead of David Gallagher. She does get to be ahead of Beverley Mitchell, though, who has been on this show for its entire run and is still totally unimportant. There's no Martin to be seen, although there is some horrible Duff girl. ["The Amazing Robbie wasn't sprung from reha-- er, 'dug out of mothballs' for this shindig? Outrage!" -- Sars] And Happy finishes it off with a shot of her eating an American flag in a decidedly anti-American statement. I'd hate America too if the Camdens were all I knew of it.
Well, the Opening Credits Timewaster still sucks, despite a full-fledged effort by the Guitars of Fun! to jazz it up. Matt "Where's My Hairline?" Camden sneaks into the house, his hair as greasy as ever, and immediately sets about raiding the CamFridge, where he finds all the ingredients for a sandwich waiting for him to steal them. He hurriedly makes what appears to be a roast beef sandwich with a disgusting amount of mayonnaise on it. He was going to put some cheese on it as well, but had to reject that after an overreaction to a whiff of it shows us that the cheese has gone off. I'm sure that won't stop him from sticking it back in the fridge for someone else to enjoy, however. He should have rejected the cheese because eating beef and cheese together is incredibly not kosher, but I can't expect this show to care about Jewish customs when it can barely keep track of Christian ones. Sandwich finished, Matt leaves everything out on the counter for someone else to clean up and tries to escape the house, but he's stopped by RevCam, who sneaks up behind him like the creepy stalker he has always been.