Chandler's sleeping in his car. He may want to see a doctor about his tendency to fall asleep unexpectedly. A persistent knock on his window awakens him. It's a boy with giant hair, because giant hair always makes kids look cuter, according to The Law of Adding Little Kids to Television Shows to Boost Ratings. Chandler rolls down his window, even though I've never seen a car with power windows that worked when the car wasn't actually on. The kid invites Chandler into his house for some coffee and a chat. "About...?" Chandler asks. "You...me...you and me. Ever thought about adopting?" Chandler's like, "Say what?" Kid's like, "I don't have a mom or a dad, and my grandma's really, really old. I need someone." Chandler furrows his immense brow. Twinkly music plays. Okay, I guess Chandler's brow isn't that immense.

Back at the Treehouse of Lurv, Lucy and Kevin are talking about buying the house down the street. Apparently, buying a house is as easy as knowing whether or not the house is still for sale. Kevin says he thinks they're ready to buy a house. Lucy wonders when they'll be ready to have a baby. Kevin patriarchs that he and Lucy's parents want Lucy to finish college before they have kids. You want to feel sorry for Lucy that her husband and parents are deciding her life for her, but then she childishly asks if they can get a dog, and you realize why she needs three guardians.

Over at middle school, Peter and Ruthie are having a very realistic discussion about their possible future marriage plans. "You know I love you in a fourteen-year-old first-crush kind of way," Peter says. Dude, I am sorry, but there is no way that he is fourteen. Even if he is fourteen in real life, he's not fourteen. I never knew a fourteen-year-old boy whose voice hadn't at least begun to change. Ruthie won't return the love sentiment, although she does say that she hopes they get married "someday." Like maybe next year, when they are of age according to this show's bizarre version of reality. Ruthie says that she's fourteen, and again, no way. I was a late bloomer myself, okay, and I was still a lot further along by fourteen than Ruthie. Especially considering that she supposedly had her period already. In the end, Ruthie admits to Peter that she does love him -- "in that fourteen-year-old first-crush kind of way. Honey." At least Mackenzie Rosman has the sense to look utterly ashamed of herself after saying that line.