7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | 370 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
I Dream of Weenie

Holding a pizza box, Chandler walks around outside Pete's, looking for Angela. He finds the waitress and asks her, but she says she never saw anyone sitting next to Chandler in the first place. "Have I been drinking?" Chandler wonders aloud. "No," says the waitress, remembering that Pete's Pizza doesn't have a liquor license, I guess. Chandler decides that he needs to get some rest.

A tiny boombox plays "You're Nobody Until Somebody Loves You." Suddenly, a crapload of professional dancers run into frame, holding mops and twirling around. Asslee and her dad are there, too, although their dancing skills are considerably less impressive. Chandler walks in, holding his pizza box at, as someone on the forums noted, a ridiculous forty-five degree angle. He watches for a while until Asslee "dances" up to him and asks if he wants to join them. Chandler says he just wanted to ask her if Ruthie knows a girl her age named "Angela," who describes as blonde and "cute." Seeing as his description is so glaringly inaccurate, Asslee says she doesn't know anyone like that. She goes back to "dancing" and "mopping," and Chandler waves goodbye, wondering if maybe the cleaning crew should have thought twice before they mixed ammonia and bleach.

And we're at the Petrowski residence, where Vic has never looked so damn happy to be dusting. You have to give the guy credit, though: if this show is going to make him look like a complete and total fool, he might as well get into it as much as possible. Paris comes into the room, and the two dance together. Then Peter enters with a mop, which he uses as a dance partner. With the business end of the mop up in the air, mind you, which can't be doing much to actually clean the floor. Chandler comes in, and they invite him to join the "fun." Vic starts dancing spastically in his face, and Chandler totally forgets why he even came to the house in their first place. Chandler says he feels like he's in the "twilight zone." No, Chandler, you're not, because then you would be on a much better show. Vic says that Chandler is just single, like he "technically" is. Chandler's all, "Please stop talking about how you're doing my ex-fiancée, thanks." Actually, he says he might just be looking for someone to "explain the unexplainable," and Vic says that he's the perfect guy to ask since he used to be an alcoholic. I don't know. Then he starts dancing again with a crazy-ass grin on his face. With the amount of ecstasy these people must have absorbed into their systems by now, I'm surprised they aren't playing rave music and clutching glow-sticks.

7th Heaven

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