7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | 2 USERS: F
I Dream of Weenie

The family Vickery/Petrowski leaves their table. Vic and Paris hold hands, and Peter smiles. Vic asks if anyone would like to buy him a movie ticket. How charming! Paris says she has to go home and do some housework and get ready for a meeting at work tomorrow. Peter says he'll pay for a rental movie if Vic sticks around for a bit. Vic says he will, but only to help Paris do laundry. Peter volunteers to do the bathrooms and the kitchen. What a dumbass! You're always supposed to volunteer for the easy rooms. Paris asks what's going on here. "I don't know. Grandpa Charles?" Vic says. The hell? He's not Vic's grandpa, and Vic didn't even know him. Vic notices Chandler standing in front of the ticket counter of the movie theater, waiting for his cue, and calls out to him. He invites him back to the Petrowski residence to do some dusting, saying that Chandler looks like he could use the company of a family. Way to rub in Chandler's face that you're with Paris and he's not, asshole. Chandler declines the invitation. As he watches them leave, some lady wearing an ugly pink peacoat walks up and tosses her hair in a ridiculously exaggerated manner. At first, I thought that this was guest-star Randy Spelling in drag, since the girl looks a lot like Tori. It isn't, although I'm pretty sure she has to be some kind of Spelling relative. Horse faces and a complete inability to act are genetic.

Speaking of which: Asslee. Her family has finished dinner and is discussing their plans for the rest of the night. Asslee and her dad are going to the high school to supervise a new cleaning crew (fun!), and the mother is doing some bookkeeping at home (thrills!). Asslee has the crazy idea of combining both tasks into one fun-filled evening by having her mother do her bookkeeping at the school! Asslee's dad says that this is a great idea and a delightful idea, and they all get up to leave. I'm not even sure if how much fun they're about to have is legal. They see Chandler, who apparently gave up his movie-watching plans in favor of violating the laws of time and space and beaming himself on over to a spot behind the Asslee family, and invite him along. He says he's just going to get a pizza and watch some television at home. "Well, that doesn't sound like any fun," says Asslee's mom, unlike her current evening plan of doing bookkeeping in a haze of cleaning product, which is sure to be a fucking laugh a minute. Chandler says he doesn't want to go. "It's not about cleaning, it's about family and friends," Asslee's dad says, rather forcefully. Chandler says he doesn't want to join the Asslee family cleaning cult already. They leave, and he sits down. That weird-ass girl walks up and sits down next to him. Ew, what is going on with her skirt? It looks like she stole a valance and tied it around her waist. It wouldn't be the first time someone has worn drapes on this show. The girl stares at Chandler, making him understandably uncomfortable. Oh, and then she tries to smile. Ugh.

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7th Heaven




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