7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | 2 USERS: F
I Dream of Weenie

And we're at the Petrowski residence, where Vic has never looked so damn happy to be dusting. You have to give the guy credit, though: if this show is going to make him look like a complete and total fool, he might as well get into it as much as possible. Paris comes into the room, and the two dance together. Then Peter enters with a mop, which he uses as a dance partner. With the business end of the mop up in the air, mind you, which can't be doing much to actually clean the floor. Chandler comes in, and they invite him to join the "fun." Vic starts dancing spastically in his face, and Chandler totally forgets why he even came to the house in their first place. Chandler says he feels like he's in the "twilight zone." No, Chandler, you're not, because then you would be on a much better show. Vic says that Chandler is just single, like he "technically" is. Chandler's all, "Please stop talking about how you're doing my ex-fiancée, thanks." Actually, he says he might just be looking for someone to "explain the unexplainable," and Vic says that he's the perfect guy to ask since he used to be an alcoholic. I don't know. Then he starts dancing again with a crazy-ass grin on his face. With the amount of ecstasy these people must have absorbed into their systems by now, I'm surprised they aren't playing rave music and clutching glow-sticks.

Martin twirls Ruthie around the CamKitchen as RevCam and Annie sashay along the background. SamVid sit precariously balanced on the rather tall kitchen island and try not to plummet to their deaths. They're wearing shirts with the numbers "22" and "5" on them, which I believe is supposed to reflect their respective IQs. Chandler walks in, and is greeted in unison by the whole creepy family. RevCam dances and twirls Annie up to Chandler, who then hops over to him and invites him in. Chandler says he can't stay, and asks her if she believes in angels. Of course she does! Especially when they're beaming at her from her Precious Moments figurine collection. Chandler leaves the CamPound, only to see Lucy and Kevin dancing in the street. What I wouldn't give to see Simon run them both over. I bet David Gallagher would have agreed to do that particular guest appearance, too. Chandler gets in his car and looks in his driver's side mirror, only to see that creepy-ass girl staring back at him. The camera zooms into his face as he, quite understandably, screams in terror.

And now it's my turn to scream in terror, because we get a close-up on Chandler's sweaty, puffy face as he wakes up in a fright and stares at the camera, wheezing, for like five minutes. Ugh. He turns on a light and looks at his clock, then decides to get himself to 4701 Chapel Lane.

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7th Heaven




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