7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Gwen: F | Grade It Now!
Mary, Mary, MARY

Marie sits on the CamCouch with Robbie and yaks about her education plans. Matt rudely takes Robbie aside and tells him to get rid of Marie, reminding him that he's in love with Mary. Matt drags Robbie over to the CamRents for some more unfunny hysterics. He yammers about the potential for Robbie bringing home strangers who look like other Camdens. Then Robbie babbles about cosmic twins. Matt threatens to leave, and I perk up a little. Annie informs us that she wants to borrow Marie's notes, too, and will therefore invite her to stay for dinner. Matt calls his family a freak show, and I can't argue with him. Ruthie oozes out of her eavesdropping niche and runs up the stairs.

Ruthie tells Simon and Lucy everything that was said in the previous scene. This scene is just an excuse to show Lucy's boobs again. Beverley Mitchell's parents are probably slightly miffed that a show about family values contains so much footage of their daughter's breasts and navel. Or -- who knows? Maybe they're upset that she's not making as much money as Britney Spears. Ruthie goes back downstairs and eavesdrops on Robbie telling the CamRents that Mary hung up on him earlier. Ruthie is happy that her predictions seem to be coming true. Junior Snoops Simon and Lucy consider calling the Colonel to find out where Mary is. They don't, though, because they already know where she is. I do, too. She's having sex with Wilson. While she's doing that, she's gazing up at the ceiling in ecstasy over the fact that she doesn't live with her nosy family anymore.

Wilson tells his son to pretend to be sleepy so that Daddy can spend time with Mary alone. Mary knocks on the door, and Wilson opens it. He's happy to see her because her t-shirt is too small. His little boy announces that he's sleepy. Everyone smiles, but especially Wilson, because Mary has such noticeable breasts.

Matt goes to some restaurant where Cheryl is the hostess. "We've never met but you know me and I know you," she says. I'm thinking that's a euphemism for drug-selling overtures. Matt says he'll wait all night for a table. I think he's going to start stalking Cheryl, since she's blonde and he likes to stalk blondes and all. He also likes to stalk brunettes, I've noticed, but I don't think that'll stop him from stalking Cheryl for an episode or two.

Annie calls Ruthie down to help with dinner. Annie, Ruthie is not Happy. You can't yell out her name and expect her to come running. Well, maybe she is Happy, though. I haven't seen Happy in a while. Maybe I am stoned and this whole series is just my hallucination. Ruthie talks about how much better she likes Marie than Mary, and Annie gets mad. Ruthie asks Annie if either she or RevCam has any kids they don't know about. It's supposed to be cute, but I notice that Annie doesn't answer.

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7th Heaven




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