7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Gwen: F | Grade It Now!
Mary, Mary, MARY

Marie makes eyes at Robbie at the Camdens' front door. Robbie babbles about how much he cares for Mary. Marie lets herself down easy and then hits the road. Robbie knocks on RevCam's "office" door. Some office. No computer, no boom box, no cute decorations from Japan. Robbie assesses that Mary's out with Wilson and then becomes angry, his hair molded into a mushroomy shape with gel. The men talk about how Mary did wrong. RevCam claims that he and Goody Annie aren't keeping Mary from coming home. Only she knows if she should be home or not, he says. If I were Mary, I'd be afraid to come home when my father said things like that. I'd be dumb and easily confused, and I'd decide that it was easier to stay in Buffalo and have meat sauce with men like Wilson.

Matt flows into his classic stalker repertoire, calling Cheryl from the payphone that's twenty feet away from where she's standing. He asks her to accompany him to a movie in three hours, when her shift ends. Cheryl makes the mistake of being lonely and easily impressed by a man who wants to take advantage of her low self-esteem, and she agrees. The clarinet pretends to be just a little sad and no more, but I think it's really afraid. It knows that something's gone horribly wrong, but it prefers to live in denial.

Lucy tells Ruthie that Jeremy, the Latest Love of Her Life, is probably on the way back from an interview at Niagara University, which is probably somewhere near New York. Simon walks in and tells everyone that there's no word from Mary. They're all worried, because apparently she's supposed to call their house every hour to let them know that she's still okay after being kicked out and over to Buffalo. Lucy stares at her framed portrait of Jeremy in consternation.

Suddenly, Jeremy is waiting at the train station. Mary is there, too. She takes a seat next to him. He jokingly assures her that he isn't a freak -- that he's just a student trying to get from Niagara University to Glenoak. Mary says, "Tell me more so that I can dismember you and steal your wallet later." Either that or she says that the train to Glenoak will be there in ten minutes. The clarinet doesn't want Mary to go back to her parents' house, but I'm ambivalent. I can't see it affecting the quality of the program at all, so it won't, therefore, affect the quality of my life. I'm going to go on exactly as I have for the past few months, except that if I'm lucky, I'll win a karaoke contest or two. Mary will still be doomed, the show will still suck, and I will be several steps closer to my fulfilling my destiny.

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7th Heaven




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