So, from the moment your husband started counseling me, I have tried everything I could think of to get him, Serena tells Annie. Ive asked him to lunch -- he said no. So I started showing up at the church with picnic lunches. But that didnt work. I started breaking stuff at my house so I could have him come over and fix it. Ive flirted, tricked, and deceived your husband in almost every way I know, but nothing has worked. Huh? Picnic lunches and home repairs? You know, for a scheming siren, Serenas pretty lame. Any slut worth her salt would have quickly felled the mighty RevCam with a well-timed blowjob under the desk. Serena continues, So today I decided Id make my big move. Id invite him over and seduce him. But even that didnt work. After I made my move, all he wanted to do was counsel me. All he wants to do is help me. Its so frustrating. The sickest part of this monologue is that it makes me imagine RevCam and Matt having father/son talks about sex: "And then, son, the succubus will try to lure your manhood into her dark cave of childbearing. Thats when you hit her full force with all your family-values counseling powers The second sickest thing about Serenas speech is that shes stupid enough to tell it to Annie. I love that the two of them are having coffee while it occurs. Serena apologizes and then gets up to leave, promising that shell leave Eric alone from now on. Annie monotones, Im curious -- why my husband? From what I understand, you can have any man you want. Why would you want a man you cant have? Well, duh, Annie. Annie cranks up some psychobabble she heard on Oprah and tells Serena to sit down and stay a while. Serena sits. I think she should try to seduce Annie now. All the sexy build-up has to climax somehow.
Back at her apartment, Cheryl doesnt want to discuss why she didnt tell her friends she was dating Matt. She doesnt want to discuss why Matt didnt tell his parents about her, either. Whats it gonna be? Im tired of talking, she tells him. Shut up and get busy with the adult relations, Matt, is what she means.