7th Heaven
Are (2)

Episode Report Card
Gwen: C- | 1 USERS: A+
Tying up all the loose and stupid ends

Priscilla and John discuss the postponement of their wedding. Priscilla has booked them two flights to New York so that they can visit John’s ailing grandmother. On the way to the airport, they’ll swing by Priscilla’s parents’ place and get them to inform all the wedding guests that the ceremony’s off. Priscilla is really pretty. John’s cute, too. They should just have sex.

In some bedroom, Matt asks Cheryl why she wants to have sex so soon. “Because it’s fun,” she says, lying there all slinky on the bed. Word, Cheryl. I mean, too bad you’re reduced to doing it with Matt, but still -- sex is fun. Matt says that talking is fun, too. “You must be a really good talker,” she tells him sarcastically. He replies that if she knew him better, she’d realize that he’s an excellent talker. I think Cheryl should leave him and find some other virgin to use for sex.

Up in her room, RevCam tells Lucy that she’s smart and level-headed. Not with that zigzag part, she ain’t. Lucy babbles about how young the CamRents were when they got engaged, and about how she’ll make her plans work, and about how she loves Jeremy and is ready to leave home. RevCam makes a sad face. I think he feels bad because he really doesn’t want his kids to have sex, but at the same time, he realizes that the desire for sex is going to cause them all to marry young and have too many kids, just like he and Annie did.

Annie goes upstairs to bother Robbie. She asks why he lied to Mary, and he tells her that it's because the CamRents wouldn’t let him date her over the summer. He doesn’t want to talk to her stank ass. She leaves, and learns from RevCam that Lucy went to find Jeremy.

Jeremy walks into the pool hall, looking grubby in his leather jacket and freshly-slept-on hair. He joins Mary at a table. “We need to talk,” she tells him. “No, you need to explain,” he says. The lens is all greased up when Mary’s onscreen, and I wish the camera people would do the same for Jeremy because his haggard face is hurting my eyes. When I want to see people who AREN’T young and nubile, I’ll turn off the WB and look in my mirror, dammit.

It’s night. Simon lollygags around Deena’s yard. Her dad comes out and asks if he wants to see Deena. “Deena doesn’t want me,” says Simon, wincing at his own meta-statement immediately afterwards. Dad then offers to drive Simple Simon home. Deena comes out in an ugly green t-shirt and says, “Let my dad take you home.” How embarrassing for Simon. None of this would be happening to him if he’d just had sex with Sasha.

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7th Heaven




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