7th Heaven
Back In The Saddle Again

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Back In The Saddle Again

The episode begins with a shot of a really pretty horse. Oh, and there's some one-shot female guest star standing next to the horse too, in case you're interested. And you're probably not. Ruthie walks past them, leading her horse by its reins. For some reason, the guest star feels the need to tell her, "You know, it's called 'horseback riding' for a reason. You're supposed to be on the back of the horse riding it." I think she's trying to sound charmingly witty, but really, she just comes off as a rude bitch who's meddling in something that's none of her business. Welcome to Glenoak, my friends. Ruthie says the guest star's comment is "very funny," which is patently not true. The guest star introduces herself as Katelyn and jumps right into the Camden way of life by asking Ruthie what's wrong. Ruthie has fallen and hurt her leg, and she doesn't feel like getting back on the horse. Katelyn orders her to get back on the horse anyway. She even offers an incentive, claiming that she will ride with Ruthie. Inexplicably, Ruthie accepts. You know, if someone had just finished insulting me and ordering me around, I doubt I'd want to go riding with her, but then again, I'm not a dumb-ass like Ruthie. The girls set off to the strains of some particularly dorky country music. I think whoever is in charge of this music is butchering that old Gene Autry song, "Back in the Saddle Again." It still sounds better than the 7th Heaven theme song, though.

It looks like Brenda's getting kind of lazy with The Opening Credits Timewaster, which consists of more footage of Ruthie and Katelyn riding. As they return to the stables, Simon is waiting. The fugly combo of his slicked-back hair and dog-shit-coloured leather jacket make him look particularly unattractive today. He's also bitching about Ruthie being late. While he's got a point, the whining hardly adds to his appeal. Ruthie tells him to step off since she's had "the best day of [her] life." Katelyn's offer to put up Ruthie's horse sends the younger girl over the moon. She says, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" in a way that makes you think someone had just told Mackenzie Rosman that Brenda Hampton got fired. A girl can wish, can't she? Ruthie starts brandishing the theme mallet as she explains to Simon about falling off the horse and then getting "back in the saddle again." She reiterates it, in case you didn't quite grasp the cliché the first time around, and adds something about pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. Thank you, Ruthie, for sharing those incredibly trite observations with us.

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7th Heaven

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