"Is something wrong?" Kevin asks. Why, yes, Kevin; yes, there is. You're not wearing a shirt, and it's causing me a great deal of internal conflict. On one hand, you're a disgusting person and I hate you. On the other, you're not wearing a shirt. Fortunately, Kevin puts a t-shirt on and spares me the embarrassment of writing about how Kevin is totally HOTT. Lucy confronts him about today's softball game. Kevin manages to smirk and wince at the same time. Lucy wants to know why she hasn't been asked to play on the team her husband coaches. Kevin says it's because she sucks at softball. Lucy says that she's going to the game today and she's going to play, and if Kevin doesn't want her to, then "…you know." I don't know, but I have a feeling that it has to do with sex and Kevin not getting any, so I don't want to think about it anymore.

Paris answers her persistently ringing doorbell to reveal a tiny Ruthie and a humongous Chandler. "I'll go get Peter!" Ruthie practically screams, thus providing Chandler and Paris with a chance to make out. Paris puts on her Evil Single Woman voice and tells Chandler that Peter is sleeping over at the Camdens' tonight. Chandler makes a dumb expression. Paris takes this to mean that he's offended by her sluttiness and tries to backpedal, but Ruthie and Peter and their dogs run in and whisk Chandler away. Meanwhile, the hell? Did she say that Peter is sleeping over his girlfriend's house? I don't think I'll ever understand what kind of family values this show is trying to teach me.