7th Heaven
Baggage (a.k.a. Out Of The Past)

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!
Sleepover Madness

RevCam and Annie meet in the kitchen, where RevCam says that he'll have to meet Annie at church because he needs to go tie up Peter's storyline. Annie says that sounds great, as she has a few storylines she also needs to create positive resolutions for.

Chandler walks right into Paris's kitchen, substituting a throat-clearing growl for a knock. Paris asks him to leave, then folds her arms babyishly. They couldn't make me hate these characters any more if they tried. Chandler says he doesn't want to leave. Paris points out that what Chandler wants isn't exactly relevant, as this is her house. Chandler asks Paris why she's so angry with him; this can't all be about canceling the date. Paris points out that he's wearing yesterday's clothes, and wonders if he didn't have time to change between spending the night with Roxanne and coming to her house. She's had enough of men and their lies, and she'd really like Chandler to leave her house now. Chandler: "Lies?" (Long pause that effectively destroys whatever dramatic tension this line was supposed to have.) "Deception?" (Another long pause as Jeremy London tries to remember his lines; it's so difficult when your brain is addled with drink.) "When have I lied to you?" He asks Paris to let him explain, then tells her about Roxanne's letter. He says that he was wrong to break his date with her, but Roxanne "needed" him last night. But they're not back together, and they're not still in love. Roxanne "just needed [Chandler] to remind her of that." By his oily, puffy presence and inability to speak like a normal human being. Chandler asks Paris if he still wants her to leave. She doesn't, so they make out.

RevCam and Peter walk in and stare at them for a while, then RevCam asks if he's interrupting anything. Of course he is! Peter tells his mother that he's going to church with RevCam today. RevCam asks if Paris is okay with what they're "going to do." She says she thinks it's a great idea. Does she even care? And what are they talking about? I probably don't want to know. RevCam and Peter leave, with RevCam casting one last, longing glance in their direction. What a perv. Paris tells Chandler that they need to talk about "the invitation." At this point, RevCam comes back in the kitchen, grabs the car keys that he purposely left behind, then stands around a for a while before finally leaving again. I hate RevCam. Paris and Chandler basically ignore him and discuss the invitation. Chandler says that he never thought that Paris was trying to invite him to spend the night with her. "You didn't mean it how it sounded…did you?" he asks. Chandler so wants to get laid that it's not even funny. Paris says she didn't…or did she? No, she definitely didn't. Chandler tries to conceal his disappointment with a series of sighs and smirks. Mostly sighs.

Annie walks Asslee into the CamDen, where Martin and Ruthie are already waiting. Annie says that she wanted to clear up some misunderstandings. First off, Asslee shouldn't break up with Martin. Butt out, Annie. Maybe Asslee has a perfectly good reason for breaking up with Martin that has nothing to do with you. Asslee admits that she totally listened in on Annie and RevCam's conversation about missing Simon. "That's okay -- we're used to it," Annie says. Of course she is. I would have been slightly less forgiving, but then, I'm not "used" to friends and family members spying on me. Annie says that Asslee's moving on did make her realize that Simon was really gone, but that's okay, because Simon is gone and Annie needs to learn to deal with that. And Asslee is still welcome at the CamPound anytime, but only if she lives her life the way she wants to live it. And if that way is in total agreement with how the Camdens think that others should live their lives. Asslee smirks. Annie moves on to Ruthie, apologizing to her for spending more time with Asslee. She's been "leaning" on Asslee without ever giving Ruthie the chance to "pitch in" and become an emotional backbone for her depressed mother. Annie's glad that Ruthie brought this to her attention, and she'll be sure to force Ruthie to do lots more chores in the future. Ruthie smiles as if this is a good thing. Annie turns to Martin and tells him to go ahead and date Asslee. "Uh…thanks?" Martin thinks. And now it's time to go to church. After hugging, of course. Ruthie apologizes to her mother. "For how you spoke to me?" Annie says. Shut up, Annie. Ruthie says she was upset then, but now that Annie's talked to her for all of three seconds and agreed to let her clean the toilet, she's fine.

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7th Heaven




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