7th Heaven
Baggage (a.k.a. Out Of The Past)

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!
Sleepover Madness

Peter walks up to a man on the Promenade and asks if he knows an "Alfred" who works at the bookstore. Wouldn't you know it, he's talking to Alfred right now. Peter gives him Jake's letter. Upon hearing that the letter is from Jake, Alfred folds the letter back up, gives it to Peter, and tells him to tell Jake that he can send all the letters he wants, but his son doesn't want to see him. I knew Alfred was Jake's son the minute I heard his name was Alfred, because I can't see anyone not completely wasted naming his kid that. Can a flute "tootle" sadly? Apparently so, because that's exactly what The Flute of Conflict That Will Have to Be Resolved Within the Hour does.

Annie pulls two loaves of something unappetizing out of the oven as Asslee enters the kitchen. Apparently, she just came from the Treehouse, because she's wearing Lucy's pink tracksuit top. Either that, or production is cutting costs by recycling the wardrobe. What is production spending their money on, anyway? Pretty soon we'll be seeing RevCam parading around in Annie's sailor top. Annie is all happy to see Asslee and invites her to stay and have some of her meatloaf, since she knows how much Asslee likes it. "I lied to you…" Asslee begins. "You don't like my meatloaf?" Annie says, face falling. And when Annie's face falls, small children and animals need to watch out that they don't get bludgeoned by one of her jowls. Asslee assures Annie that she loves her meatloaf, and Annie smiles. The twins are safe -- for now. Asslee explains that what she was lying about was having to work today -- she was actually on a date with Martin. She didn't want to tell Annie because she didn't want to upset her. "Oh, no, I'm not upset!" Annie says. "I just didn't want you to be upset," Asslee says. Well, she isn't, Asslee, as evidenced by the fact that she just told you she wasn't. "I'm not upset!" Annie says, again. "Really?" Asslee asks. Jesus fucking Christ, Asslee -- ANNIE IS NOT UPSET. Asslee says that Martin is almost two years younger than she is, and Annie, always supportive of her girlfriends' relationships with younger guys, says that's fine. Asslee also thinks it's great that he doesn't know anything about her and she doesn't know anything about him. I guess if you're Asslee, the less people know about you, the better. Annie says that Martin needs to know that she dated Simon. Not really, Annie, but he does, now that Lucy told him.

Annie and Asslee commence fake hugging as RevCam walks in. He checks out the hot girl-on-girl action for a second, then greets Asslee and asks hopefully if she'll be staying for dinner. Annie says that Asslee can't because she has a date. Asslee confirms this, then turns and walks out of the room. RevCam totally checks her out as she leaves while pretending to be taking a glass out of the cabinet. Annie makes a sour face, which then turns teary as violins play. I think she just realized that her husband is cheating on her with the babysitter. When asked, Annie says that she's upset because now that Asslee's dating someone else, she's realized that Simon is "really gone." She didn't realize that, like, before he left, or presumably at the nasty bus station they dropped him off at, but she does now that his ex-girlfriend has another boyfriend. Sweet.

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7th Heaven




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