No such luck. Simon is whining to RevCam about how he simply must hang out with friends. In particular, he means the odious Cecilia. RevCam doesn't exactly see the urgency, and he tells Simon that the "restriction" will continue for "another week or two," in order to teach Simon a lesson. Then he gets all mystical and inscrutable, saying, "The scariest thing in my life is the thought that someday I might not be here to make sure you learn the lessons you need to learn." I don't know. That's kind of scary, but not nearly as bad as what comes out of Brenda Hampton's mouth when she talks to the press, don't you think?

Loser Lucy is still harping on the fight Kevin and Robbie are allegedly having over her. She has a new dumb-ass theory, which is that Kevin won't help out Robbie because he thinks that she and Robbie did more than kiss. That is one of the stupider things I've ever heard, and evidently Kevin thinks so too, as he rudely tells Lucy he's not interested in hearing what she has to say. I can certainly relate, but I think if Kevin's dating her, it's kind of impolite not to make at least a token effort to appear attentive. Not our Kevin, though. He just tells Lucy she's crazy, which causes her to stomp off.

This leaves the field open for Robbie to come over and offer Kevin a deal: If Kevin takes care of his traffic ticket, he will help him cope with Lucy. And what are Robbie's qualifications anyway? He maintains, "She'll listen to me. I'm good with Camden women. I speak fluent crazy." I know it's not right to make fun of mental illness, but I laugh anyway. So does Robbie. But at least I don't sound like Eddie Haskell.

Annie is still trying to find out RevCam's secret. She guesses that he is "sick," which is a pretty good call. RevCam, however, lies to her not once, not twice, but three times, insisting that he is not sick. Okay, now he might as well die, because when Annie found out she lied to him, she's going to kill him anyway. She asks why Hank is at the bowling alley. Sure enough, there's Ed Begley, Jr., staring creepily at them. Why that doesn't give RevCam a heart attack is a total mystery to me.

Unfortunately, Eric goes over to talk to Hank, who grills him on his health. I could go into greater detail, but why bother? It's even duller than it sounds. In fact, I actually wasn't aware that it was physically possible for anything to be as dull as this scene. Considering that I stuffed envelopes for a living one summer, I'm probably qualified to judge that.

When the scene finally ends, RevCam gathers his loved ones around him and tells them to split into teams for bowling because it will be more "fun." This proposal is greeted with so much eye-rolling that I have to wonder if everyone has suddenly developed identical neurological disorders. When Annie insists that they split into teams, Robbie says, "Fine, but I'm not playing with Kevin." Good heavens, I certainly hope not. This is a G-rated show, after all. Oh, where are my smelling salts? Eric appoints Robbie and Kevin as team captains, then tries to make up the teams himself, telling Lucy to be on Kevin's team. It's just not his lucky day, as Lucy says, "I'm not playing with Kevin either." Looks like Kevin's going to be playing with himself tonight. Eric tries to get Simon to team up with Robbie, but he's not interested. Annie puts on her Cruella persona for a moment, but this time she actually makes me laugh as she hisses, "Simon, you are never gonna leave this bowling alley until you pick a team, put a smile on your face and pretend like you're having a good time. And that goes for everybody." By the time RevCam says, "I'll play with Robbie," I'm practically doubled over with laughter.