7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | Grade It Now!
Mary Liar Bore

The twins are in their high chairs, as they usually are at the beginning of the episode. This time, they're throwing their cereal at Happy while the rest of the family sulks at the breakfast table. Mary is missing. The bigger kids take the twins upstairs so the CamRents can argue about Mary. RevCam says that she needs a job, money, and good friends. Annie agrees with him. Then she says that another crappy job will force Mary to realize that she needs to go to college. RevCam says that she'll lose the car. Annie says, "So let her lose the car." RevCam reiterates that Mary's in trouble. Annie gets mad, yelling, "Just because I'm not a minister or a therapist doesn't mean that I don't know that she's in trouble. I'm her mother!" She accuses Eric of being a know-it-all just because he's the father. He says they need to take action now, but he doesn't know what action to take. Annie yells at him for being a minister and not knowing how to help his own family. RevCam yells. StuporMom yells. Let me sum it up for you: they're both clueless and they're taking out their anger on each other. RevCam needs to get out and run some errands. Annie asks why he's always the one who gets to leave. She wants to "get out" too. "So get out!" RevCam screams. Lucy comes downstairs, and Annie tells her to watch the kids so she and RevCam can run their angry errands separately. This was the closest thing to realism I've ever seen on this show. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying it wasn't dumb. I'm just saying that it was almost real.

Lucy's studying in the living room. The phone rings. It's a bitchy collections agent calling about Mary's credit card. She asks who Lucy is. Lucy asks who she is. The woman says, "I asked first," and Lucy hangs up on her. Heh. The phone rings again. Lucy ignores it. Simon comes in and says it's for her. Lucy picks up her extension and the collections agent says, "Hello, Mary." Stupid-ass Simon just says, "Mary, Lucy -- what's the difference?" This is the first of many moments this hour during which I feel like hitting one of the characters. The credit bitch refuses to believe that Lucy isn't Mary. Lucy finds out that Mary hasn't paid her bill and doesn't have a job. Lucy hangs up on the woman, who calls back again. Isn't that illegal? Isn't that harassment?

Sgt. Michaels is having a morning meeting like the one he saw on a Hill Street Blues rerun. Afterwards, the cop who stopped Mary a couple of weeks ago confesses to Sgt. Michaels that he made a mistake. He suspected that Mary had been drinking, but he didn't ticket her because she was RevCam's daughter. Sgt. Michaels is distraught.

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7th Heaven




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