7th Heaven
Broke

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Mary Liar Bore

Mary walks through a parking lot, swinging her arms like a man. She holds up her twenty-dollar bill and says, "One, please." The guy working the ticket box at Flix asks if she wants to see the double feature. "Sure, why not? I have all day," says Mary as she careens down her self-constructed treacherous road.

At Eddie's Pool Hall, Annie asks the Bartender With No Name if he's seen Eric. He hasn't. He gives Annie a soda on the house and tells her all about how Mary got fired for being such a crappy waitress. Stupormom looks angry.

In the CamKitchen, Simon answers a call from RevCam, who says, "Why'd it take so long to answer the phone? Is everything okay?" It only rang three times, but whatever. Simon tells his dad that Mary's out looking for tricks -- I mean a job. We see that Eric's at Pete's Pizza Parlor. Sgt. Michaels walks up and tells him about Mary's drinking/driving episode. RevCam is shocked and dismayed. Just like Annie, he repeats what he heard as if he's a an ugly, beige parrot.

Mary sits in the theater, watching a Marx Brothers movie and laughing with her mouth full of popcorn. I sit here imagining the feel of her cheekbone against the palm of my hand as I slap her hard. I see the popcorn flying out of her open mouth. I hear the sound of flesh against flesh, and then I hear her say, "Hey, can you loan me fifty bucks?" I don't know what's worse -- the fact that she chews with her mouth open, or the fact that she's cracking up over the Marx Brothers. ["The colorized Marx Brothers, no less." -- Sars] Oh, and then there's that dishonesty thing, too.

Collection Bitch calls again, and this time Lucy hands the phone to Matt. Matt adopts a New York accent and introduces himself as "Bernie the attorney." He says Mary will sound a dollar a month to the bank, and then twenty-five cents a month. It might have been funny if it hadn't been Matt doing it. Collection Bitch is fooled and hung up on. The CamSibs decide they need to loan Mary the money without the CamRents' knowledge. Not one of them has fifty dollars to spare, though. Ruthie points out that the twins have "tons of money."

Sgt. Michaels bids RevCam goodbye at Pete's Pizza. Then Pete himself comes out and tells Eric the real reason that he fired Mary. He spills all the beans about Frankie and Johnny stealing beer after hours. Johnny's his nephew, and that's why Pete doesn't fire him too. RevCam says that he forbid Mary to see Frick and Frack anymore. Pete says he saw Mary hanging out with them just the other day.

Annie calls the car dealership from the pool hall and finds out that Mary's car is going to be repossessed if she doesn't cough up $300 in the next seventy-two hours.

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7th Heaven

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