7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: C+ | Grade It Now!

Julie bitches some more about Hank while Annie makes far too many funny faces. She saves the wackiest face of all for when Julie informs her that she is pregnant and hasn't told Hank about it yet. In fine old soap-opera fashion, we cut to commercial, as if this were some big cliffhanger-type announcement that viewers would care about.

Annie marches Julie down to the free clinic to face Hank, who really should be getting back to his patients by now. Instead, he and Julie fight in the clinic, right in front of the CamRents. Finally, Annie leads the bickering losers into an exam room so we won't have to hear the rest of their conversation. Thank you, Annie. You must have been reading my mind. RevCam incredulously says, "Pregnant?" Yes, Eric, don't be so shocked. Obviously you have more than a passing acquaintance with the concept of pregnant women, so I think now would be a good time for you to shut up.

In the backyard of the CamPound, Lucy and Robbie dissect their date from hell. Lucy provokes (probably) unintentional guffaws when she asks, "So what happened to us? I thought we were in love!" Again, it falls to the man to set the little woman straight. Robbie informs her that making out for a week does not constitute love. Yes, thanks for that newsflash, doofus. Lucy is made to look even stupider by being upset because she wanted to be the one to break up with him. Robbie gallantly says that she can tell everyone she ditched him. I hope it won't be too hard for Lucy not to be part of a publicly acknowledged couple. But there's still time. After all, November sweeps period still has three more episodes. Maybe she can even get engaged again before the Christmas hiatus! After one last incredibly unromantic kiss, the romance is over for good. At least I hope it is.

To cheer herself up over the fact that she may never have her own subplot again, Ruthie has been spying on Lucy and Robbie from inside the CamPound. Simon walks in and asks her what she's doing. She says she's "watching Robbie and Lucy break up." The happy un-couple walk in and announce their break-up anyway. As they walk out of the kitchen, we get an unfortunate glimpse of Lucy's ghastly pleather pants. I hope the reason she's walking away so quickly is to dispose of the entire get-up she's been wearing this evening. Ruthie says, "I'm next, and when I get him, I'm keeping him. Three's a charm." Maybe Simon would like a turn at my barf bucket? He'll have to wait until I'm done, though.

He picks up the phone to call Sasha, who answers eagerly after barely one ring, and listens happily while Simon gives a speech about how she should not be dating Larry. She does cut him off, eventually, to say that she's decided not to get back together with Larry. And why is that? Because spending the day with Simon made her realize how wonderful it is to have "a great guy" like him to be with, so she's decided not to date any old piece of trash that asks her out, even if it means she "might have to be alone for a while." Don't worry, Sasha -- being "alone for a while" on this show probably means only one episode, so you should be in luck. Pleased with his work, Simon offers to squire her, "as a friend, to movies and dinner" until the right guy comes along. Sasha accepts that offer enthusiastically, though, of course, since her guest star turn is done, we'll probably never see her again.

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7th Heaven




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