Ruthie tells Lucy to move the hell out the CamPound already. Lucy agrees, then asks if Ruthie is trying to get rid of her. Lucy really needs to take a hint that her family does not like her very much. Ruthie says she wishes Mary was there so that three of them could hang out like those old times I don't think were ever actually shown on television. Lucy agrees, then asks Ruthie why she's bringing up Mary. Ruthie says she was talking to Mary recently about getting married to have sex, and if she had any regrets about that. Lucy asks what Mary said. "Have you talked to Mary lately?" asks Ruthie. Are we seriously going to have a storyline about Mary, who isn't on this show anymore? God, we are.
I'm rather disappointed to see a daytime establishing shot of the CamPound. I was kind of hoping this whole episode would take place at night, and consist of characters scaring the crap out of each other. That would have been fun. Oh well. Simon enters the garage and asks to use Martin's shower. Bamp chicka wah wah! Martin says Simon can use his shower, and asks him how college is going. Simon takes this comment to mean that Martin knows about how Simon is having sex now. Martin makes a deer caught in headlights expression when Simon starts talking about sex, because Martin is really weird. He says he hadn't heard any family gossip about Simon's virginity, although he "suspected" Simon had lost it. Don't ask me what Simon was doing to make Martin suspect anything. Anyway, says Martin, now that he does know for sure, can Simon give him some "relationship advice?" Martin is a bit confused about what it means to receive advice, however, because he just starts lecturing Simon about having premarital sex, which Martin won't be doing because his DAD is a SOLDIER in IRAQ. Martin condescendingly asks Simon how he can live with himself for having sex with women he doesn't intend to marry. Simon says he can live with himself just fine, since he and the women have a mutual understanding about what their relationship is. Martin says this seems "cold." Simon says this seems "healthy." Martin asks Simon how he would feel if Ruthie was involved with in a purely physical relationship with some guy. Why must every conversation about sex always go back to RUTHIE? Which staff writer is this freaking obsessed with Ruthie's sex life, and can the police launch an investigation into this? Simon says they aren't talking about his sister. Martin says that all of Simon's girlfriends are someone's sister or daughter. I think we should figure out who Ruthie's parents actually are before we worry about Simon's girlfriends' parents, but that's just my opinion. Point made, Martin raises his huge eyebrows and smirks smugly. And he has every right to, as he made some really great points there, except that Georgia was an only child and, as she said, her parents didn't have a problem with her having premarital sex. And as for Simon's relationships with women not being healthy, I would say that they're a lot healthier than those marriages Simon's sisters and brother are stuck in because they were so desperate to have sex that they committed to a lifelong relationship with people they really didn't know or like.