In the kitchen, Ruthie's hassling Mike. "What if you wait all that time to kiss her and then it's no good?" she asks him, chewing an apple all the while. "It'll be good," Mike argues. Then he asks if she's old enough to talk about this. Ruthie says she's older than she looks. He wants to know how old. She admits that she's nine and he says he's nineteen. Hmm. Lucy walks in and figures out that Ruthie's writing something about them. Ruthie runs away. "Maybe we should give her something to write about," horny Lucy tells Mike. "If you're suggesting we make some sort of physical contact -- no," says Mike as he puts his hands on her shoulders. They have writing of their own to do, he reminds her.
Outside Flicks, the only movie theater in town, Matt sits at a little café table and reads a book. Marcia and Simon walk up and he asks them how the movie was. Marcia spells "insipid" for him. Simon tells Matt that they'll get a pizza and meet him back outside. Marcia chides him, saying that the least they can do is share their pizza with Matt, since he chauffeured them and all. Simon yells, "I'm sure he doesn't want to intrude. E-N-T-R-U-D-E. Intrude!" Marcia makes a buzzing sound and spells the word correctly while Matt chuckles. "Laugh it up, fuzz ball," says Simon. Oh, wait. No, he doesn't.
Throwing pillows onto their unmade bed, the CamRents button their shirts and exchange noisy kisses and "I love you"s. They decide to watch the rest of the movie, "otherwise someone will get suspicious." As they leave the bedroom, RevCam asks if the door was unlocked the whole time. "You always get so paranoid," says Annie, slapping his ass in a way I really don't need to see.
Ruthie's added a whole sentence to her diary entry. It now says, "Dear Diary, I can't believe what I saw [something]. I saw Mom and Dad [...]" What? Kissing Santa Claus? Ruthie's smirking her face off as she writes. She hasn't yet learned the jaded recapper's gaze, I suppose.
Back at the trailer, Frankie and Mary dry the dishes while Johnny catches up with his television. Mercy makes a noise offstage. "Is that the baby?" asks Frankie. Johnny doesn't know. Frankie asks him to check. "You're up. You check," he says. Mary checks. Frankie hits Johnny with her dish towel and tells him to grow up. She says she doesn't ask him to do that much. "You don't ask me to do that much?" he carps. "You asked me to marry you, didn't ya?" Girls, there's your 7th Heaven lesson for the day: You can trap a man into marriage, but you can't make him sweet. Johnny leaves, slamming the door behind him. Mary saw it all, of course. Frankie's embarrassed and sad. Mary offers to leave, but Frankie begs her to stay. She pulls a big old joint out of her stash box. "Is that pot?" Mary asks. No, Mary. It's a just hand-rolled cigarette, like the ones your grandfather used to make out of sassafras leaves. "Yeah. I just need it to mellow out. This motherhood-and-wife gig really sucks," Frankie answers. We get a big close-up of Mary's face as she goes, "Gulp!"