When Cate saw the previews for this episode, she projectile vomited off her balcony so copiously that she had to be hospitalized for dehydration. I think it was the voice-over saying "Values Mary Camden believed in are no longer her guide" that did it. So while Cate recovers, I'm sacrificing my lunch to recap this episode in her stead.
It starts off -- guess where -- in the kitchen. RevCam's feeding the twins. Mary comes down the stairs and asks where Stupormom is. RevCam gets all defensive, launching into a diatribe about how he can feed the kids without Annie's help. Mary says she was just looking for Annie because she had to run some errand for her. Annie's upstairs. Mary turns to go. RevCam asks what she's doing that night. It's Mary's turn to become defensive. She says, "I haven't found another job yet, if that's what you're asking." What? She lost her Pete's Pizza gig already? Damn. I knew she should have given those guys her panties! RevCam wants to know if Mary's interested in having a Family Movie Night, since none of the other kids have plans. Oh, wow. Yeah, maybe they can find a copy of Bambi at Blockbuster. Maybe they can watch that Claymation thing about Jesus! Mary says that she's going to Frankie's and Johnny's for dinner.
Lucy walks in and plunks down a stack of college brochures. Guess what the one on top says. Give up? It's from Crawford University, silly! What else would it say? Mary flies off the handle, asking if Lucy's getting on her case now, too. "These aren't for you. These are for me," says Lucy, all turn-the-other-cheek style. She's applying for early acceptance. She plans to spend her evening reading the brochures. RevCam gets all happy. Mary says, "She's just doing that to make me look bad!" Lucy denies this. Mary's still buggin'. Lucy ignores her. The phone rings and Mary answers it. It's Frankie, the evil beer-drinking pizza waitress we met last week. RevCam asks Lucy if she brought home the brochures to motivate Mary. She didn't. "It's okay. It might work, anyway!" says Rev. "Nice to know you care about me," replies Lucy. Okay, this trend is building. The CamRents are continually ignoring Lucy's virtues this season. Something's gotta give. Lucy's going to have to rebel. She's going to drive down a self-constructed, treacherous road, I'm afraid. Damn, y'all, this is scary. What if...what if she vandalizes something with toilet paper? RevCam claims that he does care about Lucy and he's glad she's going to college.