Mary bitches about Lucy to Frankie. "I always wanted to go to college," says Frankie, as she holds Baby Mercy on her hip and warms a bottle in a huge pot on her stove. Johnny's kicking back on the couch, watching a little TV. "Not my fault!" he yells at his wife. Frankie thinks it would be nice to have an education and some career choices. She suggests that she and Mary sign up for the next semester together. Johnny snorts loudly and says, "Be sure to apply for that scholarship!" Frankie tells Mary to bring some of Lucy's brochures over to dinner. "Oh, and could you bring three steaks? I've got everything else," she adds. Ha. Mary asks how Frankie and Johnny managed a night off work together. They told Pete that Mercy was sick, that's how. Ooh -- they're teen parents and LIARS, too! I abhor heathens who misuse sick days, don't you?
In her room, Ruthie makes a big production out of blocking the door with a chair and then unlocking a hidden diary. The guitar in the background reminds me of Fleetwood Mac. Ruthie's sitting on her bed in her Powerpuff Girls shirt, just darkening the "y" in "Dear Diary," when Annie comes down the hall. She knocks at Ruthie's door. Ruthie jumps up and hides the diary. StuporMom's rattling the door handle like she's Colonel Klink. The door is opened and Annie asks why the chair was blocking it. Ruthie didn't want anyone to come in. Why not, Annie wants to know. "No reason," Bratty says. Her mom smiles suspiciously and walks away. Well, what the hell was all that door rattling about, then? I thought there was a family emergency or something.
Simon accosts his mom in the hallway as Ruthie looks on. "Yes! I've got a date!" he says. "Well, that depends on who the lucky girl is that you asked out at the last minute," Annie tells him. It's Marcia Chalker or somebody. Annie somehow knows that Marcia was a National Spelling Bee champion, that she was on TV and everything. Simon doesn't remember or care. Annie advises him to make his plans with Matt early this evening. Simon says the plan's already made. If he hadn't gotten a date, Matt would have driven him somewhere to "pick up chicks." Annie experiences annoyance delayed from last week. She doesn't want Simon hanging out with his college-age brother to "pick up chicks." Simon tells her, "It's not a thing a guy asks permission from his mother for. It's just a thing guys do." Gasp! Annie doesn't like Simon calling young women "chicks or babes or anything else that depersonalizes them as human beings and makes them sound like property to be acquired." Yeah, so how come you couldn't tell him that last week in front of your husband, Annie? Huh? HUH? She says that Simon's never too old or too cool to do what his mother tells him. She says dating's a privilege, not a right. "Yes, ma'am," Simon replies.