Mary confronts Robbie about lying to her. He tells her he's afraid that if things don't work out between him and Mary, he will have to leave the house. I guess he's not comfortable telling her about the sexual chemistry he shares with her father, though. He tries to make himself sound more noble by claiming that it's harder for him not to be dating her, since he's had sex before and thus knows what he's giving up by not being able to have it with her. Except he uses the phrase -- please bear with me, because I find it very embarrassing to type this, okay? -- "adult relations." Ugh, I feel so dirty now. But you know, Robbie, I don't think it's medically possible to die from lack of sex, okay? That's just something teenage boys say to take advantage of some teenage girls' poor self-esteem. For reasons that aren't entirely clear, Mary starts insisting that she, too, has had "adult relations." In fact, she treats us to a long story about some guy from New York City she met at the train station and how she allegedly had a one-night stand with him. Hey, wait a second. Didn't she meet Lucy's boyfriend at the train station that time, and doesn't he live in "the city"? I mean, it's not like there are hundreds, or thousands, or even millions of people in New York State. It's got to be the same guy. My suspicions are confirmed when she announces that her partner in premarital "adult relations" was named Jeremy. Wow, what are the odds? That's just incredible. Of course, Robbie doesn't believe that Mary had sex, and quite frankly, I don't either.

Dopey shows up on Cheryl's doorstep with a goofy grin on his face. She slams the door on him, which is smart. What's not so smart is that she opens it again when he tells her that he's broken the big dating news to his family. It doesn't take long before Matt's back in her good graces. She invites him to join her "for dinner." He declines because he already ate. It turns out she already ate too! Ooh, Cheryl, that is one sassy come-on line. I guess Cheryl wants dinner to consist of "adult relations." I wish her luck getting Dopey into the sack, though. He's looking mighty uncomfortable with the suggestion that they take their relationship "to the next level."

Robbie chases Mary through the CamPound, telling her she didn't have sex. She keeps insisting she did. Of course, no one's using the word "sex," but at least they're not saying "adult relations" either. I'll just be grateful for small blessings.