7th Heaven
Chances (1)

Episode Report Card
Cate: C | Grade It Now!
Chances (1)

At the CamPound, Robbie's still following Mary around the house in what is probably supposed to be hilarious fashion. Annie's in the kitchen, where she cuts herself with a knife. The fake blood is extremely fake. James wants to perform some first aid. Of course, he has to get right up next to her to do that. Overcome with passion at his proximity to SuperMom, James gives in to the irritating urge to share his feelings with her. He says he knows nothing can ever happen between him and Annie, but then he kisses her. She's not exactly pushing him away.

James apologizes and leaves, just barely missing the arrival of Lucy and Jeremy. Lucy perkily announces that she and Jeremy have important news to share with the CamRents. A confused Annie is not sure of Eric's whereabouts. Robbie and Mary come into the kitchen, still shouting at each other. Their stupid fight is interrupted by Jeremy, who recognizes Mary from the time he met her at the train station. Robbie makes the connection between this guy and the Jeremy in Mary's story, and looks like he's about to blow a gasket. It quickly becomes obvious that Mary and Jeremy never had sex, but that's not stopping Robbie from getting more and more worked up. Mary keeps trying to get Robbie to calm down and talk to her privately, but he prefers to slug Jeremy and inform everyone about Mary and Jeremy having "adult relations." At this point Mr. Cate and I were laughing much too hard to hear what Lucy said, but I think it was just some whining about how this was supposed to be the happiest day of her life but now it's all ruined. But I did catch the part where she blames Mary for all of it, even though Mary didn't even know that Jeremy was Lucy's boyfriend. How about a little righteous anger at the person who was in the relationship with you and betrayed your trust, huh? Of course, none of that really applies to this plot, which is totally contrived and so utterly, utterly dumb that it's making my head hurt.

I think it's time for a little comic relief, don't you? Well, guess who's here to supply it: Brainless Wilson. He tells Mary he's in Glenoak to bring her back to "New York," because she belongs with him. Okay, first off, Dimwit Wilson, you live in Buffalo, not New York. When you live in New York State, you only say "New York" when you mean the city of New York, which is more commonly known simply as "the city" anyway. If you mean you want to take Mary back to Buffalo, say so. Better yet, don't say anything at all. Just stand there with your mouth open, because there's just no way to make your desire to drag a woman back to Buffalo sound like anything other than a nasty, brutish, antiquated notion that should never, ever be articulated. Mary introduces Robbie and Wilson to each other. You'd think they'd be upset with each other, but you would never know from the wooden acting. The episode draws to a close with everyone standing around, looking pretty embarrassed to have been a part of it.

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7th Heaven




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