In the CamGarage, Mary is reaming out her mother for not letting her date Robbie. Annie says that while she's not comfortable with the situation, she and RevCam never imposed a no-dating rule on Robbie. Mary wonders why Robbie would lie to her. Do you think it's because you're a repulsive, rude git, Mary? Because that's what I think. Dopey walks in and welcomes Mary home, but she's too into her own problems to be even superficially polite to him. He breaks the news that he's dating Cheryl, but even that doesn't get Mary's attention. She leaves in search of Robbie. SuperMom doesn't appear overly thrilled with Dopey's news, but he doesn't pay her any heed. His "brain" is only capable of holding one thought at a time, and right now he's fixated on informing every single Camden of his dating status. He decides to employ Ruthie's idea of leaving a note on the fridge, telling the rest of the family about Cheryl.
Lucy and Jeremy pick out an engagement ring. Lucy says, "This is real, isn't it?" She's not talking about the ring; she means the very special and magical love she shares with Jeremy. I hope she's not one of those idiots who thinks an engagement can't be official until there's a ring on her finger. As for their love being "real," I can't tell you. All I can say is that I would have found them a lot more believable as a couple if they'd spent more than one episode together.
Boy, all this suspense has me so frazzled. John is on the phone with his father, asking about his grandmother. We don't get to hear any news yet, though. I know it's tough, but be patient.
James stops by the CamKitchen to see Annie. He's all spiffed up, and claims he got stood up by his dinner companion. Annie invites him to dinner, and he agrees, but on the condition that she let him help with the garage. He says he would do "anything" for her. Instead of asking him to take her away from her miserable, ungrateful family, Annie merely asks him to set the table. I hope she uses her other two wishes more wisely. She calls Eric's pager. Eric is outside at Serena's, busy with the barbecue. Serena is inside the house, where Eric left his coat, and when she hears his pager go off, she reaches into his coat and turns it off.
Mary confronts Robbie about lying to her. He tells her he's afraid that if things don't work out between him and Mary, he will have to leave the house. I guess he's not comfortable telling her about the sexual chemistry he shares with her father, though. He tries to make himself sound more noble by claiming that it's harder for him not to be dating her, since he's had sex before and thus knows what he's giving up by not being able to have it with her. Except he uses the phrase -- please bear with me, because I find it very embarrassing to type this, okay? -- "adult relations." Ugh, I feel so dirty now. But you know, Robbie, I don't think it's medically possible to die from lack of sex, okay? That's just something teenage boys say to take advantage of some teenage girls' poor self-esteem. For reasons that aren't entirely clear, Mary starts insisting that she, too, has had "adult relations." In fact, she treats us to a long story about some guy from New York City she met at the train station and how she allegedly had a one-night stand with him. Hey, wait a second. Didn't she meet Lucy's boyfriend at the train station that time, and doesn't he live in "the city"? I mean, it's not like there are hundreds, or thousands, or even millions of people in New York State. It's got to be the same guy. My suspicions are confirmed when she announces that her partner in premarital "adult relations" was named Jeremy. Wow, what are the odds? That's just incredible. Of course, Robbie doesn't believe that Mary had sex, and quite frankly, I don't either.