Exit Simon, enter Ruthie. She tries to pull a prank on her father by telling him he has to take her bra-shopping. When he gets over that shock, she informs him that she's not planning on wearing a bra, ever. And why should I care about this? Oh wait -- I don't. I would promise to pretend to care, though, if the writers promised never, ever to defile a good song like "Changes." What's that? Ruthie's already singing "Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes" again? Damn, that's cold. Where would a brat like that even hear a David Bowie song?
The moody, crazy, menopausal woman is upstairs in her bedroom, crying. When RevCam walks in, she showers him with words of love, even though she'd been yelling at him a few hours ago. See, it's because she's moody and crazy and menopausal. RevCam fills her in on Mary's foray into the field of law enforcement. They both seem pleased that the Colonel and Slack-Jaw "won't let that happen." Now let's have a big hand for the wise patriarchs! Anyone? Anyone? The CamRents discuss their boring family a few minutes longer, until Annie notices that RevCam is holding the package Dopey brought home from the clinic. She grabs it and takes out the pregnancy test, then gets upset. I can't tell whether she's supposed to be sad or angry or what. RevCam tries to reassure her that "everything's gonna be all right." She runs out of the room, shrieking, "We don't know that. All we know is that everything is going to change!" By the time she gets to "change," her voice has gone up about an octave and she practically screams out the word. You know, because maybe we forgot what this episode is called. RevCam lies down to monitor his pulse. And just because this entire episode has not been vile enough, the writers have to get that last little dig in there by finally, irrevocably ruining one of David Bowie's better songs for me. As RevCam tunelessly sings, "Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes," I go off into the corner and cry quietly. After all, I wouldn't want the Colonel to hear and call me a sissy.