7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: C | Grade It Now!

SuperMom locates RevCam in his home office, where he's pretending he has urgent paperwork to take care of so that he won't have to socialize with Tom. Annie pretends that she doesn't want RevCam to stay in his office and leave her alone with Tom. Eric tells her he will join them in twenty minutes. That's long enough for some quick sex, and Annie looks happy at the prospect. Eric tries to detain her with some lip action, which Annie pretends to get into, but when Lucy interrupts them and turns to leave, Annie can't get out of the office fast enough. I think we all know why.

Over at the unbearably ugly Glenoak mall, Mary and Camille are looking at slinky dresses while Simon and Ruthie just look bored. Simon begs to be allowed to go to the pet store, which is right next door, but Mary won't let him. Camille says, "You're acting like their mother instead of their fun older sister." There's a good reason for that, Camille. Have you ever seen Mary do or say anything fun? No, me neither. Now, if Camille had called her the "rude and selfish older sister," we'd have had something.. She tries to convince Mary to let the brats go to the pet store, arguing that she and Mary will follow them in a few minutes, right after Camille tries on a dress. The kids toddle off to the pet store while Camille tries to convince Mary to come to a frat party with her. When Mary insists that her parents will never agree to let her attend a frat party, Camille says, "That's why you're not going to ask them!" Mary stares at Camille in bewilderment. That concept may have been a little difficult for her to grasp.

Back at the CamPound, Annie and Tom are flirtatiously playing a game of gin when RevCam comes in and apologizes for interrupting. He tells them that he just got off the phone with this week's Tertiary Character In Need, someone named Judy Callaway. We get some clunky exposition about how Judy married a guy who used to dress like a rock star, which in CamSpeak probably means that he wore a black T-shirt once. But Judy and the rock star got divorced. And we should care about this...why, exactly? Everyone puts on their serious faces when Annie reveals that the rock star committed suicide six months after the divorce. Okay, still not caring. RevCam is going over to talk to Judy, and he invites Tom along, saying, "I think Judy's gotten a little bored with my company." Snicker. Tom does an about-face and turns surly, saying that he's "no good" in situations like talking to Judy. Dude, isn't that mostly what ministers do, counsel people? Tom gets up to leave. Ever clueless, Annie shouts after him, "But what about our game?" Tom doesn't even break his stride as he rudely answers, "I've got a headache, sorry." RevCam does his Einstein impersonation, claiming, "Something's not right." No shit. Annie offers to go with RevCam to see Judy, so they ask Dopey to look after Lucy. He replies, "Sure. I have no life. Why not?" He probably thinks he's joking, but we know better.

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7th Heaven




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