7th Heaven

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Cate: B- | 309 USERS: C+
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At least no one's making Grandpa listen to Robbie's singing. The viewers are not as lucky. Neither is Dopey. He's trying to read while Robbie dances and sings something in Spanish. We can't hear the original, since he's listening to it on headphones, but I'll bet it's one of Joy's crappy tunes. Seeing Robbie dancing while sitting in bed is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on this show, but Dopey wrecks it by throwing some pink stuffed animal at Robbie's head, then treating him to a lecture: "We're roommates, and roommates are supposed to be considerate of each other." Ding ding ding! Dopey's the first character to use this week's theme title in a sentence. How exciting! Or not. Out of the blue, Robbie accuses Dopey of not liking Joy. Well, who does? Dopey claims he doesn't have a problem with the little songbird, but Robbie keeps pushing the issue, until it turns into what may be the stupidest fight in the history of time. Robbie insists that he doesn't care what Dopey thinks; Dopey says Robbie does care. That's the entire subplot, in a nutshell. And it's quite tedious, actually.

Robbie storms off and runs into Lucy in the hallway. She asks if he's okay, and he launches into a speech about not caring what Dopey thinks. Lucy thinks he does, which is ridiculous. Does anyone who's not a Teen Beat subscriber care what Dopey thinks? I didn't think so. Mercifully, they don't go into it any further, once Robbie tells Lucy that Jeremy called. You mean Ron Jeremy? Because that would be cool. No, it's just Lucy's ex-fiancé Jeremy. She expositionally repeats the ex-fiancé part a few times, for all the viewers who may already have forgotten about her romance of the century with three-guest-star-appearance Jeremy. Yeah, that guy. Robbie tells Lucy that Jeremy has something important to discuss with her and that he'll call back. Lucy's still in a tizzy when RevCam walks up and asks her to baby-sit Grandpa for the day. Her excuse? She has to sit by the phone and wait for her loser ex to call. Jeez, 1952 much? Her grandfather's not getting any younger, you know; Jeremy's sure to be a blight on humanity for many decades to come. Amazingly, though, Eric accepts her excuse as valid. He also accepts Robbie's excuse: "Girlfriend trouble." Oh, come on, writers. We viewers make the effort to wade through your crappy show every week. The least you could do is put forth even a smidgen of effort toward creating decent plots, okay? At least Dopey's studying for an exam, which is somewhat of a valid excuse, though it's still a little hard to believe that he can't take a few hours to spend with his grandfather. Come to think of it, none of the kids have even greeted the guy. Sure, the CamPound is a big house, but you'd think somebody would have figured out by now that Gramps is inside it and gone to say hi to him. Lucy nixes RevCam's idea of having Mary take care of the old guy, since Mary is "in a daze." While that mental state is surely nothing new for the stupid skank, I think they're just using it here as an excuse to free her up for her very own idiotic subplot, which we'll get to all too soon. Lucy wishes Eric luck in finding someone willing to spend time with Grandpa, and flounces off down the hall. I assume it's to take a shower, since she's carrying a towel. You'd think she may have gone downstairs to at least say hello to her ailing grandfather, but I guess things just don't work that way when you have good, solid family values.

7th Heaven

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