Lucy's holding up the ugly see-through phone receiver and thanking the operator, saying she was just checking the line. She starts to hang up, then decides against it, asking the operator if she has a boyfriend. I see some wacky hijinks on the horizon!

Simon's driving home, and there's a cop cruiser riding his ass. It's almost impossible to miss, but he doesn't even notice until Ruthie points it out. He starts looking back at the cops nervously. Grandpa admonishes him to keep his eyes on the road, but Simon's too freaked. Ruthie suggests that maybe the cops are suspicious since he's only driving about ten miles an hour. He wants to pull over -- even though the cops don't even have their lights or sirens on -- but Gramps tells him that since he hasn't done anything wrong, he should just keep driving. Grandpa is right, actually, but that doesn't make Simon any less nervous. Ruthie says she has "a bad feeling about this." I'll just assume she's referring to this entire subplot.

The cops are a couple of goofballs, one of whom is suspicious of Simon, since the car he's driving allegedly fits the description of a stolen car they'd just heard about on the bulletin. When he says he wants to tail the car, he makes it sound like he's on some kind of super-important assignment. My husband put himself through school working as a security guard, and this cop reminds me of a nerd he used to work with, who tried to get Peeter to call him by the special code name "Eagle." Peeter used to torment him by "forgetting" the code name and calling him "Beagle" or "Seagull" instead. Hey, when your job consists mainly of listening to tenants complain about other tenants not scooping after their dogs, or fetching patio umbrellas that have blown off people's balconies, you have to liven it up somehow.