7th Heaven
Crazy

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Still Dopey after all these years

Nice episode title, huh? Especially when the dreaded episode in question begins with ol' Dopey "acting" nervous by running around all sweaty and disheveled. Oops, my bad. That's not sweat; it's just the grease on his hair. And as for disheveled, well, have you ever seen him looking anything other than dirty and rumpled? Okay, so why is Matt so highly strung? Could it be sexual frustration? Probably, but he's blaming it on the fact that, as part of the med-school application process, he must undergo a one-hour psychiatric evaluation. Aw man, just think how the shrink is gonna feel. I'd imagine spending an hour listening to Dopey wax lyrical about his thought or two would feel much like being trapped in an elevator with a yappy little dog. Well, at least Dopey wouldn't take a leak on your leg. He wouldn't, would he? Hmm, probably not. So Matt is complaining to SuperMom about the evaluation. The writers appear to be trying to replicate the nonsensical, non-humorous shtick that Dopey and RevCam usually share whenever they interact, except Catherine Hicks isn't doing a very good job of hiding her disgust over the stupid excuse for dialogue. And hey -- speaking of stupid, Dopey is anxious to speak to Lucy's vile little friend Mike Pierce. Apparently, Matt thinks that Mike's attempted suicide and subsequent bouts with therapy -- not to mention that crazy mother of his -- make Mike an expert on the whole psychiatry thing. More importantly, I'm sure that having all that trauma in his background would make Mike just love to be the token crazy dude who gets quizzed about all things sanity-related. Yep, that's exactly the kind of sensitivity I've come to expect from the 7H crew.

As SuperMom attempts to calm Dopey, Mike and Lucy walk into the kitchen. Matt drags Mike off into the living room to talk. He's acting hyper in a way that's supposed to be funny, but isn't. Lucy smirks in a way that's supposed to convey surprise, but doesn't. I can't help but feel sorry for everyone involved in this painful scene. Well, except for maybe Barry Watson because he's so annoying.

Out in the living room, Dopey is subjecting Mike to the same old dumb-ass hyper shtick. Mike tries to help, but he's looking pretty vexed. That's nothing compared to how irritated I'm getting by now, though. I'm envisioning an hour chock-full of Dopeyness, and it's not appealing. I never thought I'd say this, but I almost wish they'd go back to focusing on the sexual attraction between RevCam and Robbie. Mike gives Matt a pretty interesting explanation of what therapy is supposed to be about, but the Dopester is too thick to understand it. Matt just wants to know how to "pass" the evaluation, and he's pissed because he thinks Mike doesn't want to "help" him. Mike gets him to take deep breaths, thus opening the door to some excruciatingly irksome "funny" face-making from Matt.

RevCam walks into the kitchen and demonstrates his plot-enabling abilities by immediately asking about Mike, whose car he saw outside. When Eric hears that Matt is "terrified," he offers to help. Mike comes into the kitchen and, with a straight face, agrees that RevCam could help, since he's a professional and all. See, the only problem there is that Matt's situation has nothing to do with stalking, and stalking really is where RevCam excels. I'm just not sure if offering to counsel Matt on non-stalking issues is going to help anybody. RevCam leaves to give it a shot anyway, and as he goes, Mike looks after him and does that index finger twirling around the ear gesture that's supposed to signify craziness. It's almost as funny as it was the last time I saw someone use that gesture, which was probably in the fifth grade. I'm not sure if Mike's trying to imply that RevCam or Dopey is the crazy one, but I'm not going to get worked up about it. That would be like trying to figure out who sucks harder: Celine Dion or Michael Bolton. At the end of the day, it just doesn't matter.

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7th Heaven

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