7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: F | 2 USERS: F
Dick sucks!

CamPound Kitchen. Oh no. The twins. They say, "Good morning!" Ruthie walks in and says, "Is it?" SamVid says, "I think sooo...meee tooo!" Oh, it's creepy. Annie sends the twins off to make their beds. They ask, "With clean sheets, or with dirty sheets?" Oh, god. Annie says, "Dirty," then corrects herself, because they "just put the sheets on yesterday." Oh, someone kill me. Ruthie tells her mom that she gets "a horrible feeling in her stomach whenever [she] talks to Peter." Maybe you looove him? Oh no, she's "afraid for him." And she feels that Eric is "not listening." Maybe Kevin can "arrest him and put him in jail!" Annie tells Ruthie that "everything will be fine," and to trust her dad, because he's "good at what he does." She can't calm Ruthie down at all. "He WAS good at what he does. He WAS. But this is now!" Sing it, Ruthie. The sad guitar plucks away.

Paris is making pancakes. Peter walks in and asks if it's a holiday, or if she's trying to get him to like her new fiancé. She says, "The second." Wow, she made a whole pile of pancakes. How can you just walk into room piled full of pancakes like that and pick a fight? I mean, it's pancakes. He's acting surprised. Does Peter have no sense of smell? Anyway, Paris says she's staying home from work today, and Peter sullenly asks if she's picking out wedding dresses. Paris says no, and that Dick wants to take care of them, and what's wrong with that? Peter says, "We can take care of us." Sha la la laaa. Then, in walks Dick, with two kinds of syrup! Okay, I like Dick. There, I said it. Peter tries to walk out on the pancakes, saying that he and Ruthie were going to walk to school early to use the computer in the library. Dick says he has a computer "all hooked up to the internet!" Wow, Dick has a computer? Dick uses the internet? Dick is so 1999. Surf, Dick, surf. Peter huffs and sighs and grumbles and groans and you get the idea.

Church. Rev Eric walks in and does the exact thing I say when I want a treat. He says, "You want a donut?" Chandler says, "You stopped for donuts?" No, but Eric is willing to go out and get some. I always say, "You want brownies?" Or ice cream, or pudding, or whatever treat of the moment I don't want to eat alone. Unfortunately, my b.f. is virtuous, and eats vanilla yogurt and Fiber One for fun. He likes it. When I say, "You want brownies?" I want the other person to say, "YEAH!" Then I can go make brownies and know I won't be eating them all. But Ben just says, "I'll just have some Fiber One and vanilla yogurt." In conclusion, thanks to Ben, I am not a tub. Just frustrated. Anyway, Eric is trying to get a partner in crime for his covert donuts, and I am feeling him. Chandler just says, "Should you be eating donuts?" Screw you, Chandler. Eric makes the point that "we all have to do things we don't want to do." Meaning, go home and see your dad, Chandler. Chandler asks if there was a lesson in taking on Mayim and Mark. Eric says, "Mmm." Chandler says that maybe he doesn't need a lesson. Eric says, "Mmm." Chandler says that maybe he already learned his lesson, and maybe he called his dad, and maybe his dad told him not to bother. Eric looks at his desk. Chandler walks out, then leans in to ask peevishly if Eric had to give him the most difficult couple in the church to counsel. Eric watches him go, then says they're not the most difficult. Anyone want a Michelob Ultra?

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7th Heaven




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