RevCam and SuperMom are getting ready to leave for their walk. SuperMom asks about the mystery envelope, and RevCam says he didn't want to take the time to open it since he was "rushing home to walk with [his] woman." He puts enough spin on it to let us know he's kidding, so I am saved from having to put my foot through my television screen. RevCam opens the envelope, which contains a cheque made out to the church for $20,000. He and SuperMom clumsily high-five each other, which is actually kind of cute. Then they start doing "The Bump," but the opening credits kick in before we have to see too much of that.
Sighing heavily, Simon pours an inch of juice into a glass and throws maybe twelve Cocoa Puffs into a bowl before settling down to read the newspaper. RevCam comes in and effects an annoying brogue when asking, "Ah, I see me boy is having a wee leprechaun of a breakfast -- what happened, me lad?" Um, RevCam, could you stop that, please? Thanks. Simon starts going on about how guilty he feels eating breakfast when so many people are starving. ["The Outsiders was about starving people? I guess I need to reread that." -- Sars] RevCam points out, very sensibly, that there are relevant, meaningful things people can do to alleviate world hunger and that the starving people will not be any less hungry if Simon eats his "usual breakfast." Simon replies, "It's a symbolic gesture." Gross; enough with the ineffectual bourgeois guilt, Simple Simon. He says he wants to be reminded of "what's going on" in the world and lists a bunch of admittedly sad news stories. RevCam tries to cheer him up by mentioning the $20,000 donation to the church. Simon just says, "No matter how much money it is, it'll never be enough to help everyone, is it [sic]?" All right, Simon, I agree with you in theory, but I won't be able to dredge up much respect for your opinion until you get off your ass and actually do something productive about it. Whining doesn't count. Anyway, Simon leaves. Adios, Mr. Morose.
SuperMom and Ruthie engage in a totally pointless and annoying exchange about God and fatalism, except I'm making it sound about a hundred times more interesting than it really is. After Fun With Philosophy, Ruthie blames her bad mood on Simon (tell me about it) while rushing through her lines before she forgets them. She exits as Mary and Lucy enter. It sounds like they're speculating on where Dopey and Chickenhead might have sex. Lucy's saying something about their "motive," and Annie asks, "Motive for what?" This causes both girls to rush off while SuperMom shouts, "We'll talk about this later!"