Aw, man. People are all having sex and stuff over on Everwood. My show sucks.

The Camdens spent the commercial break eating dinner, and now Martin and Mac are doing some after-dinner cleanup and fighting about who has to call Asslee to tell her that Mac won't date Pam. Annie comes in and starts interrupting them, so they leave. RevCam, Ruthie, and Peter enter and announce that they're off to make copies of their Washington and Lincoln tabloid so they can hand them out to the class. "TERRIFIC! Sounds GREAT!" Annie screams, again with the inappropriate emphaticism. On his way out, RevCam kindly asks Annie if she called her sister yet. "Drop it," Annie says, making a Clownface of Suppressed Rage.

Chandler and Roxanne are just finishing their pizza and starting the conversation that their dinner was supposedly about. Am I to assume, then, that they spent the entire dinner before this moment in silence? Roxanne is about to tell Chandler her big dilemma when Kevin and Lucy walk up and try to pretend that they aren't nosy assholes. It doesn't work, and Roxanne calls them on it. Lucy asks Roxanne why she couldn't talk to her about Det. Michaels. Roxanne says that it's because Lucy is married to Kevin. So Kevin asks why Roxanne wouldn't tell him about Det. Michaels back at "the office." "Office"? Kevin is such a tool. Chandler tells them to leave. Kevin starts yelling at Roxanne to not tell people that she's dating Det. Michaels, because it could hurt his chances for the promotion. Roxanne denies dating Det. Michaels. Chandler makes a face like someone near him just farted. Kevin says that if Roxanne isn't dating Det. Michaels, then this isn't any of his business after all, and he's sorry he jumped to conclusions. Actually, it's not any of his business even if she is dating Det. Michaels, but nice try, Kevin. Lucy says she's sorry, too, and she feels like an idiot for agreeing to go out to pizza with Kevin. Chandler is all surprised that Kevin would be the one to initiate a spy mission; Kevin says that Lucy is starting to rub off on him. Hey, it's just like Peter having Ruthie's bad work habits rub off on him. Women bring men down, all the time! Thanks for the life lesson, Brenda Hampton! I just hope that one day I'll have a strong patriarchal husband to be a bad influence on. As Kevin and Lucy walk away, Lucy whines (I know, I was just as shocked as you) that she's hungry. "Well, we can't eat here now," Kevin says. They'll just have to eat at the pool hall, the only other restaurant in town.