Kevin tells Lucy that Roxanne is "cheating" on her and having pizza with someone else. Then he decides that they will be going out for pizza tonight. Even though she just got done whining about how her husband never takes her out, Lucy whines that she wants to eat at home, with her family, even though most of the people present at the Camden dinner table nowadays aren't related to her. Kevin says that there's something going on between Roxanne and Det. Michaels, and that Det. Michaels is up for promotion and whatever Roxanne knows about him could affect that. Lucy says that what Kevin's doing is gossip, and she thought he hated gossip. Kevin says that it's not gossip; it's "investigative work." "Hold the phone!" Lucy says. Kevin reaches out and grabs the nearest phone, because, as a robot, he doesn't understand human colloquialisms. Lucy uses her tiny brain to make the assumption that Roxanne and Det. Michaels are secretly dating. She grabs her coat and says she'll wait for him in the car.
Martin comes home from school, and I'm confused. We can see that it's still light outside, and RevCam just told Ruthie and Peter that dinner would be ready "in a few hours," right? Isn't it a little early to be going out for pizza? Maybe Lucy was planning on just sitting in her car and waiting for Kevin for the next two hours. She doesn't have anything better to do anyway. Martin answers the phone. It's Asslee, all proud of herself that she got Mac a date. "Her name is Pam," Asslee says, alternately raising and lowering her eyebrows in an attempt to infuse some kind of emotion into her "acting." Martin says that's great, and hangs up on her. Mac enters the house, saying that Martin "forgot [his] sweats" and placing them on the kitchen counter. And just what were Martin and Mac doing together that would lead Martin to remove his sweats and leave them somewhere where he would forget them, hmmmm? Martin tells Mac that he has a date with Pam. Mac says he won't date Pam; no one will. Martin looks confused, but that might just be because he's wearing pink lipstick.
Aw, man. People are all having sex and stuff over on Everwood. My show sucks.
The Camdens spent the commercial break eating dinner, and now Martin and Mac are doing some after-dinner cleanup and fighting about who has to call Asslee to tell her that Mac won't date Pam. Annie comes in and starts interrupting them, so they leave. RevCam, Ruthie, and Peter enter and announce that they're off to make copies of their Washington and Lincoln tabloid so they can hand them out to the class. "TERRIFIC! Sounds GREAT!" Annie screams, again with the inappropriate emphaticism. On his way out, RevCam kindly asks Annie if she called her sister yet. "Drop it," Annie says, making a Clownface of Suppressed Rage.