Kevin and Lucy walk by the pizza place again, and spot Roxanne hugging Det. Michaels! She leaves, and he turns to see Kevin and Lucy standing there gawking at him. At least Lucy has the decency to look ashamed about it.
RevCam and Annie sit Ruthie down to talk to her about her project. She says she thought they would be proud of her for doing something different for her project; RevCam says he can't believe that she would chose to "disparage two great American presidents for a presentation in your school on a day that's been set aside to honor them." Ruthie says a lot of the stuff they wrote "is true," or "could be true," or "might be true." I guess she spent all of her time working on that nice layout instead of doing some actual research, because she should have been able to find plenty of entirely true disparaging things to say about both Washington and Lincoln. Ruthie still thinks her project is good, so Annie starts in on her until the phone rings. "Martin will get it," Annie snaps, and I guess it's good that Martin is doing something to earn his keep. RevCam suggests that Ruthie ask her teacher for an extension, and spend the extra time making a more "balanced" (as in, Fox News Channel's version of "balanced") paper that details all of Lincoln and Washington's many accomplishments. Ruthie counters that there's nothing wrong with saying that two people are human beings who made mistakes like everyone else, to which RevCam says that since they aren't exactly there to defend themselves, there is something wrong with it. I'm pretty sure there's a lesson in there somewhere about not criticizing George W. Bush, but I definitely don't care enough to find it. Nor would I heed it if I did. I'm just really glad that I didn't have to watch the episode where Martin's dad said that the results of the last presidential election weren't important anymore. Martin comes to the door and announces that Lily is on the phone for Annie. The piano kicks into high gear as Annie glares at her husband.
Morning in the CamPound. Annie is clearing the breakfast table, and she's still acting like a total baby and refusing to speak to RevCam. Try not to fly out of your seats in surprise.
In school, Pam walks up to Asslee and is all sad that Mac didn't call her. Asslee says she can fix Pam up with someone better; Pam says it will have to be someone who doesn't know about that one time that she wet her pants. Does anyone else think that Pam looks way too much like tween star Amanda Bynes for it to be a coincidence? She looks more like Amanda Bynes than Asslee looks like her own sister -- unfortunately for Asslee. Pam says she just thought Mac was nice enough to forget that she was Pampers, but she should just forget about having a boyfriend or any friends until college. But life will be a little easier for her now that she knows that she has a friend in Asslee. "I can actually look up from the ground long enough to get my books," Pam says. "How do you do it?" Asslee asks. Oh my god. You guys? Pam is SO courageous. Even more so than that girl a few seasons ago who bore the shame of having minor acne. Mac and Martin walk up to Asslee after Pam leaves. Asslee tells Mac off for not listening to her dad, and walks away. Martin asks Mac why he didn't say anything, and that Mac "better not blow this relationship" for him, because it's tough to get a girlfriend when you're a star baseball player, apparently.