7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 465 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Drop This Show

Hey, it's Matt! And his hair looks freaking terrible! You'd think someone who lost his hair during chemotherapy would be appreciative of it and thus especially insistent that it look good, but I guess Barry Watson doesn't have that kind of pull in the make-up trailer. Matt enters the Treehouse of Lurv (Kevin and Lucy still haven't moved out? I mean, Paris and Vic are stupid losers and even they managed to get a duplex) and drops his bags quietly, because Lucy is sleeping. He takes a bottle of something from the mini-fridge (it looked like beer, but come on. You know Lucy doesn't allow that stuff in her pad) and tries to open it. Since he's Matt and he can't do anything right, he is not able to open the bottle. Finally, he finds a bottle opener and removes the cap with such vigor that it flies onto the floor. The noise awakens our sleeping non-beauty, who demands to know what Matt is doing there. He says he's visiting and Kevin did not ask him to come. Then he asks Lucy how she's doing. She says she was doing fine until her husband started tattling on her to her crappy brother. Matt says that many women share information about their pregnancies with their husbands, and he knows this because, as he says, striking a pose, he's "a doctor." Lucy points out that he isn't yet, and Matt says that he's helped out on some childbirths and stuff so if Lucy ever wants to talk to her brother about gynecological subjects, he would be more than happy to listen. I don't even like talking to my gynecologist about that kind of stuff; I can't imagine ever bringing it up with my brother. But then, he isn't a fake doctor like Matt. Lucy says she won't be sharing anything with Matt, and that she doesn't need her husband to summon her brother from New York. She also calls Matt "Mr. Smarty Doctor-Pants," so any maturity we may have thought she gained along with that pregnancy weight went right out the window. Matt looks uncomfortable and averts his eyes. He says that's fine, then tells Lucy that he "thinks" her pants just fell off. Lucy screeches and pulls her pants back up. "Whoo!" says Matt. This show has gone past bad and is firmly entrenched in bizarre.

High school. RevCam is telling Martin some cockamamie story about the development of teenage brains that basically exonerates Ruthie from any blame. Martin is understandably pissed. RevCam says that Ruthie is upset and embarrassed about what happened. "She's embarrassed? What about me?" says Martin. "I mean, I know I'm not your son, but I expected a little bit of sympathy and understanding. But hey -- maybe your brain's not working either. Maybe your whole family has brain problems!" Well, it's about time someone addressed SamVid's glaringly obvious disabilities. Martin storms away. Sing it, Martin! There's hope for you yet!

7th Heaven

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