RevCam's looking pretty peeved when he confronts the kids for trying to cover up Simon's drunkenness. Annie is calmer, but it's that kind of psycho calm that makes you suspect that Cruella is bubbling very close to the surface now. After dismissing the rest of the kids, RevCam lectures Simon for a while and then grounds him "until further notice."
Dopey pays a visit to Ruthie, who's reading in her room. He asks her if he got into the schools. What? Oh, yeah, this was a subplot too. Okay. I have to rewind the tape a bit, because after Ruthie said he was accepted by both schools, I was laughing too hard to hear what came after that. What she says next is even funnier, if possible: that Dopey got a partial scholarship from Columbia and a full scholarship from NYU. Dang, that's pretty good for a guy who went to Crawford Clown College -- a school that would accept Mary as a student. Ruthie explains her reasons for keeping this news from Dopey for so long. I think it's something about him needing to get used to the idea of leaving Glenoak, but I'm still too busy laughing to pay much attention. Okay, we know -- he's leaving. I kind of wish he'd stop talking about it and just do it already.
Now that he's getting ready to leave, though, Ruthie seems to have assumed the mantle of bossy, lecturing sibling. She goes into Simon's room to lecture him, ironically enough, on not being a good enough role model to her and the twins. Um, hello? Doesn't Ruthie have two older female siblings too? Nope, no mention of Lucy and Mary. Ruthie even invokes Robbie's name, for crying out loud. I know Lucy and Mary aren't exactly great role models, but it's still pretty revolting to hear Ruthie imply that only big brothers can be looked up to. It's also pretty gross when she tells Simon to "start trying to fit in harder around here." Okay, Simon, you heard her. It's time to lace up your stalking boots. But wait, there's even more. Ruthie says, "Start becoming a man, the kind of man I can look up to." So are we straight, then? Is Simon supposed to aspire to becoming the kind of sexist jerk who is at least partially responsible for Ruthie thinking that she has to look up to men? I guess so. Let's all jot that down in our family values notebooks, shall we?
Mary worriedly asks if Lucy thinks the CamRents are going to punish them for helping Simon. Hey, news flash! Y'all are over eighteen now, okay? While you're still living off your parents, you certainly have some responsibility to please them, but if the CamRents are seriously going to punish their adult children for something like this, then the show is even more messed up than I thought. Lucy thanks Mary -- presumably for making her look like a dork in front of Jill and Barb. A heartwarming moment is shared by all as the sisters admit that they envy each other. Lucy tries to cheer up Half-Pint by telling her about some mistakes she's made. All these mistakes are men. Oh, well, it's not like Lucy does much with her life these days except chase guys. And you know the part where I said this scene was heartwarming? I lied.