Ruthie tortures Dopey some more about his admissions letters. As you've probably already guessed, this scene is more dull than Mary's intellect.
Back in the scary bar, Lucy is grinning nervously because she is in such close proximity to actual beer. Mary is expressing her disapproval by sitting at another table entirely. Or maybe Jill and Barb have banished her there because she's such a poopnoddy. That's right, I said "poopnoddy." It's my new favorite word. The Oxford English Dictionary gives the definition of the word as "a dupe or simpleton." Is it too much to ask that a future episode of 7th Heaven be called "Poopnoddy"? ["I think the entire show should be renamed 'Poopnoddy.'" -- Sars] Jill points out Lucy hasn't touched her beer, and guesses that Lucy is upset because Mary won't leave. Lucy uses this opportunity to go talk to Half-Pint.
Mary says, "You win. I'll go." You'd think Lucy would be happy about that. Heaven knows I am. But Lucy seems to think that if Mary leaves, Barb and Jill will expect her to drink, and she won't be able to say no. Why not? Because she wants to be a minister. Okay, but I still don't see the connection. Lucy searches frantically for an explanation that makes sense, but fails miserably: "If I want to help the people, I have to be one of the people." Way to blame your wussiness on God, Lucy. Half-Pint laughs and says, "That is so crazy, it sounds like something I would say." I know it's been going on for a while now, but it still pleases me when the writers put down Mary by making her look like the world's biggest moron -- though in this scene, Lucy certainly is giving Mary a run for her money, as she begs Mary to stay. Half-Pint insists on leaving with Lucy, though. She stands up, walks over to Jill and Barb, and says, "Lucy's leaving right now, because if she doesn't, I'm gonna tell my parents she was drinking, and she'll get in big trouble." As Lucy leaves, Jill and Barb burst out laughing.
Mary tells Lucy, "To say that you owe me would be the biggest understatement of your short life." You see, Half-Pint believes that she was doing Lucy a favor by giving her a graceful excuse to leave, and Lucy seems to harbor the same delusion. The fact that these two are so incredibly naive makes me almost too sad for words.
Simon wants to know why Morris is cutting their date short by driving him home so early. Morris tells him that he was "drunk" and "out of control." Damn! I'm so disappointed we never got to see Simon cavorting with a lampshade on his head or dancing the flamenco on the coffee table. When Simon doesn't understand how he could be drunk, Morris has to explain to him that the punch was made with grain alcohol. Okay, just what kind of poopnoddy is Simon that he couldn't have figured that out for himself? I don't care what anyone says, that stuff has a taste, and it's rank. Morris isn't even going to walk him to the door, since he's afraid that Annie "might hurt [him]." Heh -- he's got her number, all right. Morris tenderly helps Simon unhook his seatbelt -- and then watches as he falls out of the car. Heh. Unfortunately, Simon's not injured.