7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: B+ | 1 USERS: F

Down in the CamKitchen, The CamLosers are trying to sneak Simon out the back door when someone knocks at the front door. Eric shouts, "We got it," which is a little weird, because you wouldn't think it would take more than one person to answer the door. Half-Pint orders a "breath check" -- a precaution she must have picked up while she was having half a beer that time. Simon exhales, and if Dopey can still smell alcohol from at least three feet away, I think Simon's going to have a hard time getting away with this. After he goes out the back door, his siblings wrack themselves with guilt about the cover-up. Dorks.

In the front hall, Morris is apologizing for his part in leading Simon astray. He says, "I came back because I gave Mrs. Camden my word." I sincerely doubt that. Morris probably came back because he figures Annie will find out what happened and he'll wake up in the middle of the night to see her holding an ax over his head. Nevertheless, Morris continues apologizing for a while. He also explains that he thinks his friends "were messing with [Simon]."

Simon chooses this inopportune moment to walk in the front door. He tries to continue the deception, but the jig is up. Simon finally realizes this when he sees Morris. The look of terror on Simon's face is priceless. If Mary could be exiled to Buffalo for half a beer, just imagine what's going to happen to Simon after drinking an entire glass of punch.

RevCam's looking pretty peeved when he confronts the kids for trying to cover up Simon's drunkenness. Annie is calmer, but it's that kind of psycho calm that makes you suspect that Cruella is bubbling very close to the surface now. After dismissing the rest of the kids, RevCam lectures Simon for a while and then grounds him "until further notice."

Dopey pays a visit to Ruthie, who's reading in her room. He asks her if he got into the schools. What? Oh, yeah, this was a subplot too. Okay. I have to rewind the tape a bit, because after Ruthie said he was accepted by both schools, I was laughing too hard to hear what came after that. What she says next is even funnier, if possible: that Dopey got a partial scholarship from Columbia and a full scholarship from NYU. Dang, that's pretty good for a guy who went to Crawford Clown College -- a school that would accept Mary as a student. Ruthie explains her reasons for keeping this news from Dopey for so long. I think it's something about him needing to get used to the idea of leaving Glenoak, but I'm still too busy laughing to pay much attention. Okay, we know -- he's leaving. I kind of wish he'd stop talking about it and just do it already.

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7th Heaven




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