7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: B+ | 344 USERS: C+
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Family Secrets

At the high school, Dopey is trying to talk his friend Jeff out of dating Mary. Jeff claims he wants to go out with Mary because she can talk about sports, but Dopey is already displaying an unseemly interest in his sister's sex life when he claims that he thinks Mary will make a move on Jeff. Ooh, scary! Who knows -- maybe they'll even "make out all night long," like Dopey allegedly did.

Next, we see a bunch of supposedly humorous scenes in which Eric is talking to various patients at the hospital, but it's obvious he's limping because his shoes hurt. Then he's phoning Annie to let her know that he's going to come home early and work from there. I don't think he's looking particularly sexy at the moment -- he's all hunched over and rubbing his feet -- but evidently a nurse finds him attractive. She sidles up and, with some very poorly acted seductiveness, comes on to him. He tells her he's a minister who's been married eighteen years, but she has a hard time believing that, because he's not wearing a clerical collar and because he claims he left his wedding ring by the sink. She does, however, offer to bring his shoes to the repair shop across the street to be fixed. I hope it's some sort of elaborate prank, where she ends up putting itching powder into them, but that's probably too much to wish for. I suppose the earlier part of the scene, when Eric was limping in uncomfortable shoes while the usual crappy, lighthearted music trundled along in the background, is all the "comedy" we'll be getting today.

Lucy is hanging with some girlfriends. I haven't seen enough early episodes to be able to tell if the extras playing her friends will ever show up again. One of the girls runs up to Lucy to let her know that Jimmy Moon is coming in their direction. The other rhapsodizes about how cute he is. Um, whatever. Lucy is crestfallen when Jimmy walks by without paying her any attention. As she is mooning after him (heh heh, geddit?), he turns around and smiles back at her, making her day.

Over in the CamKitchen, the Hell Spawn all troop in and attack the refrigerator. Annie comments that Happy is looking "chubby," which sends Simon into a frenzy of defensiveness and offers to help out. The rest of the kids leave, but SuperMom makes Dopey stay behind so she can inform him about not using the car for the next three weeks. She says she would feel better if she knew where he'd spent the night, but he still refuses to tell her anything. She tells him that they will continue this conversation with RevCam later, and as Dopey leaves, she calls out, "See ya, wouldn't want to be ya," in a way that makes me long to smack her.

7th Heaven

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