7th Heaven
Family Secrets

Episode Report Card
Cate: B | Grade It Now!
Family Secrets

This episode starts off with the most palatable Camden, Happy, chewing on one of RevCam's shoes. The scene starts to go downhill when Simon enters the room. Isn't that always the case, though? It looks like Simon's hair has always sucked. I know it does in this scene. He's got the whole bowl-haircut thing going, and even at such a tender age, his eyebrows are at the opposite end of the colour spectrum from his hair. He admonishes Happy for chewing Eric's shoes, and comments that he's going to be in enough trouble when the CamRents find out Happy is expecting puppies. I doubt that's true. Nobody's exactly getting on Annie's case for popping out kids at light speed, are they? Aside from the people who post in our forums, I mean. Simon adds the chewed shoe to a collection of chewed shoes he keeps under his bed. I'm assuming that Happy is responsible for the damage to the shoes and that Simon's just hiding them, but it's fun to imagine that Simon chewed them all up himself. The scene really plummets when Ruthie sticks her head under the bed to ask Simon what he's doing. Simon claims he's making a "surprise" for RevCam and that Ruthie should keep quiet about it. I don't know -- asking a Camden not to gossip is like asking the sun not to shine. Good luck with that, Simon.

Downstairs, Annie's parents are getting ready to depart. I assume they'll be needing a stiff drink or twelve after an extended exposure to the CamFam. That's generally how it works for me, anyway. There's some overly cutesy banter, and then everyone laughs in an exceedingly fake manner. Lucy thanks the grandparents for her subscription to Sassy magazine. Right, like Lucy would ever read something that cool. Although I think the magazine had already started sucking by the time this episode was shot. Then I could believe that Lucy would be into it. After the kids all thank the grandparents for various gifts, Grandpa asks, "Can't anyone keep a secret around here?" The answer is no, although I'm not exactly sure why Grandpa is asking the question at this moment. Maybe it's just his Alzheimer's kicking in.

Annie's got sort of a permed, feminized version of the classic seventies rocker haircut. It makes me shudder, because it looks like my own hair has looked all too often -- always right before I go on a search for a new stylist. Annie hugs her mom and looks troubled. Grandpa looks upset too. Personally, I suspect it's because the adults all know that Grandma's going to be kicking the bucket soon. RevCam is wearing one shoe and one slipper. Does anyone care about that subplot? Didn't think so. Dopey demands that Annie tell him what's going on with Grandma. Like he can't figure out that the Camden home is not the only place Grandma's checking out of? Oh wait, this is Dopey we're talking about, so I guess not.

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7th Heaven




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