Charlie's helping Ruthie build a fire in the barbecue. Yes, it's that stupid Y2K crap again. Grandpa has to light the barbecue, since Ruthie's not allowed to use matches. That doesn't stop her from having a creepy gleam in her eye as she proclaims the fire "excellent." Ah, Ruthie, you mischievous imp! She goes inside to get some food, but first she instructs Charlie to watch the fire. He does, until his attention is caught by a shiny red bike that's sitting a few yards from the barbecue. The background music reminds me of a bad horror flick, and for a few seconds I wonder if the bicycle will turn out to be possessed by demons. Charlie wanders over to the bike, while the fire gets bigger and bigger.
Upstairs, everyone smells smoke, and they go outside to investigate. RevCam grabs a fire extinguisher and sprays the hell out of that fire, which makes Ruthie sad. Annie goes over to her father. He takes a few seconds to recognize her and then starts rambling about the time he taught her to ride her "first two-wheeler." She asks him about the fire, but he stands there looking confused. Ginger is trying to appear sad, but you can see her looking over at Annie, and I just know she's thinking, "So you didn't believe me before, did you, beeotch?" Finally Charles asks, "What's all the commotion?"
After another blessed commercial respite, we join the Camdens in their big family meeting. Ruthie's asking what's wrong with Grandpa, and RevCam explains about the Alzheimer's. I tell you, those writers have some self-control. I don't know how they were able to resist having Ruthie ask, "What's Old-Timer's?" But somehow they restrained themselves. While the other family members make their escape, RevCam lectures Ruthie on setting fires, but she's not in real trouble because she did ask an adult for help. When he asks her why she wanted the fire in the first place, she starts in on the Y2Krap and says that information about the millennium is everywhere. RevCam launches into a speech about Orson Welles's "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast. I've heard that example used about 722 times before, so I allow my mind to wander to Ruthie's stupid survivalist project. Wouldn't it be cool if, instead of having her bother everyone with her pointless millennium announcements, the writers just blindfolded her and took her to a cabin in the Montana wilderness? She could eat grubs and forage for roots and berries, although she probably wouldn't know which ones were poisonous. And they could give her lots and lots of matches! Oh, wait, RevCam's story is winding down. The point? Don't believe everything you read, duh. Golly, thanks for that pearl of wisdom, Eric.









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