Ding-dong. It's Phyllis Diller, alias "Gabrielle," at the door. In a maid's uniform, and smoking. She's been sent by the Colonel to help. With the faint strains of robots singing "Jesus Loves Me" in the background, Annie motions for Phyllis to come in.
Phyllis is chilling in the CamYard, smoking like it's an art form. Lucy and Ruthie come up and instantly disapprove. Okay -- why would La Diller do this show? She must have a new PR person -- she was also in the latest issue of Bust. So, Phyllis loves to work, has a keen sense of humor, and...I'm out. Why would she do SevHev? Could she have a relative (possibly differently abled) who's hooked on the show? Again, the email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Ruthie is all, you shouldn't be SMOKING, Miss Whoever You Are in our yard where nothing this shocking ever happens. Phyllis says smoking "keeps [her] awake." Well, what if she falls asleep with a "cancer stick" in her hand? Hopefully, says Phyllis, she'll be too drunk to notice and wake up already cremated, put into a "peanut butter jar," and tossed out to sea. She cackles and smokes some more. Oh, and do their parents "have any booze in the house?" Lucy grabs Ruthie and drags her away. Phyllis drags away on her smoke. I love Phyllis Diller.
Annie, having watched this scene from inside the house, implores RevCam to call the Colonel. He doesn't want to -- that's work, stressful work, and he's not supposed to do that. Tick tick boom, remember? Lucy and Ruthie come in and are all, there's a lady on our porch. Smoking! Annie gets into a snit. Did someone tell the Colonel she needed help? She doesn't need any help! She's FINE! She can do it ALL! All without help! Simon comes in and says, "There's a really cool lady on our porch." Annie tells the kids to go straighten up their rooms and then come back and set the table and then help her with dinner. Simon says he was hoping the lady on the porch was here to do all that. Annie opens her favorite book, A Million And One Faces Of Exasperation, and runs through a few of her favorites. The kids skedaddle. Annie and Eric fight: who needs help? Who's getting rid of this maid-type person? Eric doesn't want to do it -- it "seems like work [he's] not supposed to be doing. [He] just had open-heart surgery. [He's] not well." The fact that this show is so exposition-y is helpful and all, but Eric? Shut up.