Kevin and Roxanne stroll the Promenade. Again. Some more. They must be the happiest cops on earth. Never any trouble. Plenty of time to gab and window-shop. They see Cecilia and Marc, and Roxanne says she must be in love, since she looks at Marc the way Kevin looks at Roxanne. Yes, the look of love that's in one's eyes is often easily duplicated. But it's not all about looks -- I can tell if someone loves someone else if they laugh at their intended's stupid jokes. Now that's a test.
Cam House. Ruthie tries to find a dinner set-up chore that Annie hasn't already done, and done well. Ruthie asks what would be a good gift for her friend. Annie suggests that she make a cake with something he likes decorated on it. Like an erotic cake? Sorry, wrong show. Maybe a cake with the Lord on it? Or Jesus giving a big thumbs-up? Ruthie is all, "That's a great idea. So will [Annie] do it?" Well, then it won't be a gift from Ruthie. Ruthie is all, I don't know how to make a cake! Like it's surgery. I pause the tape on Ruthie talking, and my boyfriend Ben says Ruthie "looks like Christina Ricci when she was younger, but ugly. A pug-fugly Christina Ricci." He is so mean. Ruthie asks if "that old lady" could do it, and Annie could just decorate or it or something. Annie says she doesn't want to do something for Ruthie that Ruthie could easily do herself, if she "were willing to do the work involved." Wow, way to take all the fun out of baking a cake. Ruthie snarls, "All right, I'll just buy him something." Happy joyless obligatory birthday gift to you. What do these kids do besides school, church, and hang out on the Promenade? Lazy ingrates.
Backyard. The super-tan Eric is still waiting for Phyllis to wake up. Lou and Rev Lite wander up. Eric introduces himself so pompously that I barf. He's the Reverend, "when [his] heart permits." Wow, it works on more than one level! That's deep. Or not. Eric explains that the nearby snoozing Phyllis was sent by his dad without asking. Lou is all, heh, that's funny, because we hired this guy to be associate pastor without checking with you first. Isn't that a crazy coincidence! Rev Lite introduces himself, saying with gravity, "Chandler...Hampton." The ellipses are actually in the close captioning. Eric sets his jaw like a bulldog, and then Phyllis passes gas. Poot! Everyone looks at her smile contentedly, still asleep. The piano and guitar go. OFF. Now that's whimsical.
Rev Lite sits in the Camden living room, looking around nervously and drumming his fingers. Ruthie enters, calling, "Mom? Dad?" She goes up to Rev Lite and says if he's waiting for her dad, she'll get him after she finds him herself. Oh, and who is this strange man sitting in her living room? "Chandler...Hampton." Dude, pick up the pace. Just because you have a name like a furniture line crossed with a character on a famous sitcom doesn't mean you can't spit it out more quickly. Would you want people taking forever to say, "I'm Ross...Broyhill." Or "Joey....Ikea." Spit it out, Rev Lite. Ruthie finally gets that this guy in her living room was hired to replace her dad, and runs upstairs to tell her siblings and Robbie. They are incredulous. Why is this so hard to understand? Pastors have to tend to their flock. Eric is out of commission, so the church hired a sub. Control freak much?