Welcome to a Classic recap of 7th Heaven! Ah, a look back to when this show was still so fresh and so new. So many memories. You can almost smell them. Oddly, they smell like Chef Boyardee Ravioli. Huh.

Nighttime at the Campound. RevCam and Annie cuddle, no doubt after a bout of awesome married sex. Matt sleeps with his walkman on, Lucy is passed out and snoring next to her transparent phone that hasn't been cool since 1992, and Mary is sleeping in her bed with Ruthie precariously balanced on her back. I'm torn; half of me doesn't want to see harm befall any child, but the other half would enjoy watching Ruthie fall off the bed. Simon sleeps high atop his bunk bed. Happy remains awake. Hopefully, she is using this time to plan her escape.

In the lower bunk lies a new, previously unseen child. At first I thought maybe the Camdens had taken in some less fortunate person, as they so often do to all of our displeasure, or perhaps this is Lucy's first in a long line of fiancés, again to our displeasure, but that kind of stuff didn't happen until the fifth season, so I guess this is Simon's new best friend who will never be seen or mentioned again after this episode. NewBestFriend is having a nightmare, so he shouts "no" and tosses and turns in the way that people only do when they have nightmares on television. The music abruptly changes from Happy Guitar to Sad Piano as Simon wakes up and Happy barks. Happy, this is your chance! Go now, while the boy is distracted! Annie and RevCam run into the room as Simon wakes his friend, named "Stan," up. ["I challenge you to find anyone born after 1950 who is named Stan. Shut up, Brenda." -- Sars] Annie asks Stan what his bad dream was about, and Stan says he can't remember. Because Annie and RevCam aren't just very light sleepers, but are also psychics, they instantly know that Stan is Hiding Something and could be In Trouble, and exchange looks to that effect. Annie leaves, but RevCam stays to try to find out what's really going on. Simon shoos him out, saying that he needs his beauty rest because looks like his aren't "all genetics." Yeah, best not to rely on those Camden genetics. As we've seen with Ruthie, they can be pretty darn unpredictable, and sometimes bordering on scientifically impossible. After RevCam leaves, Simon says that something Stan told him earlier was "really scary." Stan reminds Simon that he promised not to tell anyone, with his "most excellent" promise (more like "most lame name for a promise" promise, if you ask me), and Simon puts Happy down on Stan's bed, which is a sweet gesture. Stan unprofessionally stares directly into the camera as the scene fades out.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next