7th Heaven
Girls Just Want To Have Fun

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Gang's All Here

Upstairs, Lucy packs for her trip to the mall. Mary wants to know what she's up to. Lucy says nothing, puts on an ugly jacket, and leaves. I find the sibling relationships on this show so strange. I wouldn't care if my brother was up to something or not, unless said something was, like, killing babies. Then I might act, depending on how cute the babies were. ["If it's the twins, stay put, missy." -- Sars]

In Simon's room, Matt and Simon talk about Karen's belt buckle. Matt says he's seen people with that same symbol tattooed on their hands, and it stands for their gang, which is called "Blackbird 16." Oh my God, lamest gang name ever. And it's not like I have nothing to compare it to. When I was in middle school, there was this gang in the swanky private school up the street that was named after the popular music group "S.W.V." (Sisters With Voices) called "S.W.G." (Sisters With Guns). Except that these "sisters" were eleven years old and lived in McMansions and went to private school and didn't actually own or have access to guns. And I thought, "Surely this must be the lamest gang name ever." But, as it has done so often before, 7th Heaven has proven me wrong. Beware of Blackbird 16, innocent Glenoakians! You thought drinking half a beer was bad? Look at this gang! They wear belts -- OVER their belt loops! They help their parents out by picking their younger siblings up at friends' houses! You don't want to mess with that! Simon tells Matt that Karen is indeed in the gang, and Matt says he is going to tell Mom and Dad. Simon is pissed that Stan's going to know that he broke his stupid "most excellent" promise, and kicks Matt out of his room, saying that he doesn't want Matt for a brother anymore. I'm glad you finally figured that out, Simon, but -- too little, too late. Guitars Of Sacrifices That Must Be Made For The Greater Good Of Being Nosy play as Barry Watson tries to act sad.

In the kitchen, Matt tattles to his parents about Stan's Secret. Then Stan's mom calls and asks if it's okay if Stan sleeps over again. Annie says it is, then says goodbye before hanging up the phone! Well, I am impressed. Despite their many, many, many faults, at least the Camdens once had decent phone manners. RevCam says there's no how-to guide for having a son whose new best friend has a sister who's in a gang, as if this lack of tree-killing paper guides is a bad thing. Oh, me and my evil caring about the environment. Clarinets play as Annie frowns nastily to express worry.

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7th Heaven

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