In the attic, Asslee and Ruthie discuss those stupid rumors about Martin. Um, doesn't Ruthie go to an entirely different school than Asslee and Martin? Wasn't that established not five minutes ago in this very episode? Are we supposed to believe that the gossip about Martin is so juicy that it has reached the middle school? Of course, Martin comes upstairs and listens in on their conversation. When he hears that Asslee suspects that the rumors are true, he looks irritated and goes back downstairs, where RevCam's warm and loving arms are waiting for him. Asslee tells Ruthie not to tell anyone what she "confided" in her. Last week, Ruthie hated Asslee, but now they're confiding in each other. How consistent. Ew, and what's up with Asslee's hair? It looks like a doll's hair. A doll who needs to buy herself a Split-Ender.
Lucy talks smack about what a "witch" Principal Jones is while Kevin tries to hang his "American Gothic"-style wedding portrait. I don't see how she has any basis for comparison here, seeing as it was an entirely different principal who suspended her from school five seasons ago, but I guess we're not supposed to remember that. Despite the fact that the Millers live down the street from them, and that the Camdens were championing the cause of getting to know one's neighbors better a few episodes ago, Lucy doesn't know them very well and Kevin doesn't know them at all. He is, however, well-acquainted with those district-wide school parking lot regulations, and doesn't think that Principal Jones's enforcement of them qualifies her as a "witch." Lucy makes a series of funny faces.
Annie finishes reading "the story of Mushkill Goosha" to the twins. I have no idea what that is. Maybe she was supposed to say "Little Women," but got plastered before shooting. SamVid provides us with an insightful critical analysis: "I liked it. It was very good. But I feel bad for the daddy when he took the daughter away from him. Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong. Neither did she. She didn't stole the neck-a-lace." Annie explains that, once everyone found that out, they all liked the man and his daughter and "their lives were never difficult again." Yes, Annie, being popular really does make all of one's problems go away. Just ask Marilyn Monroe or Kurt Cobain about that. RevCam walks in the room, prompting the twins to jump off the bed, glom onto him, and attempt to suck the energy out of each of his legs. Now fully charged with life-force, they sprint out of the room to work on their plan for world domination. RevCam asks Annie if she wants to hear the latest gossip. She says she doesn't. He keeps trying to sell it to her, saying it involves Martin and "Mizzz" Jones, who is, in case you didn't know after hearing her described as such over a hundred times by now, the principal of the high school. Annie still doesn't want any part of it. RevCam is rendered speechless by his wife's refusal to butt into someone else's business. "Are you feeling okay, Annie?" he asks, pressing his wrist to her forehead. "Hmmm you do seem a bit warm. I'm going to call Dr. Shannon, who is our family doctor of medicine. Doctor Shannon."